Stuff changes.

You've been having a really rough time, you're actually afraid your going to give up. The 5th was probably the worst day of your life. You have a lot of worst day of your lives now. But the 5th really was one of them. You went to the mall with your best friend M and her mom to buy M's school clothes. You were going to see a movie but did that instead. Things change. You fell in like again with the most amazing guy. Then made a fool of yourself in front of him. It happens. When you came home you told mom what you've wanted to since your cousin has been here. You need to talk alone. Soon. She started to cry. That was probably a bad sign. She sent your cousin out of the room and made you talk. And you talked. And cried. You do that a lot now too. She kept telling you she screwed up everything. She said it in such a way you were so afraid she was going to do something. She said she wanted her kids to have everything she never had as a child. Then she told you something that has probably ruined your life even more. Your mother, the woman who raised you these 17 years (almost 18) told you that your grandpa molested her until she was 16. I almost died. How she can tell me not to tell anyone what she's about to tell me because she's told noone then tell me THAT!?! You and your dad are the only people who know now that mom told him. You feel so sick all the time thinking about all the times you've been to visit them and given the man who ruined your mom's life a kiss on the cheek. Mom told you he probably doesn't remember. I can't help but think what if he does and he gets some smug sense of satisfaction knowing he's getting away with being a monster? Don't give up, for your mom's sake. Love, You at 17 PS: It's okay to hate him for mom. And try not to throw up or scream and cry when and if you see him.