athenry

so your mom is on the phone with you right now, and you feel so angry and cold toward her. do you still feel that way? did she ever get off the drugs for good? do you actually give a shit about her yet, or are you still too bitter to care? what is your relationship like? do you still have one, are you still breaking hearts? did brandon fizzle and fade? did you end up giving shane that 4 leaf clover - did you get to know him better? did he actually have a girlfriend? did you ever end up fucking him in the back of that 81 blue corvette? did vegan finally talk to you again - did you ever tell him your feelings? are you still working at the animal hospital? the bookstore? do you still wish that you could drop everything and hop trains, walk, and hitch hike around North America? if you still do, then why the fuck don't you - this is your life, and its passing you by. no amount of money will ever bring you happiness, or what your heart truly longs for. i hope you've finally gotten your license, cleared up your skin, gotten more tattoos, and finally passed math 101. i hope that you have found true love, instead of mere dependence and lust. maybe you'll have enough money soon to get an apartment so that yoy won't have to deal with your dad like you do. have you conquered your hatred toward alcohol, or did you end up giving in to that hate? do you still have that elitist straight edge attitude? asshole. you'd better not. i'll come into the future and kick your ass. its funny because at this time, i can't see myself being alive in a year. i really don't know where i am going to be. i feel like a compass spinning and spinning with no direction. what is it that i truly desire? i hope i figure it out a little better. i hope that i'm also not half as depressed in a year. its so lonely round the fields of athenry.