To my unborn child #2

I'm so sorry for all the pain and confusion you will experience in your your life one day....and I feel solely responsible for it. Today I called the adoption agency. I know I told everyone that I was going to keep you and raise you to be the amazing person that I knowyou are going to be....but I just can't. I'll never be able to give you all the things that you will need or want in life.....I can't even do that for myself.....I cannot even tolerate your birth father anymore.....I will be moving out of his apartment shortly.....I am planning on moving in with Ashley in a tiny little 500sq ft apartment in Vista,CA......But I find that to be highly unlikely ....only because I don't know how good she is at paying rent and bills......she claims shes fine with bills,etc... we will see......I was for a quick second thinking about having an abortion.....but I can never do that......I saw your tiny little heart beat not more then 3 weeeks ago and I could've just died right there......Everyone is telling me that i'm not going to be able to give you up once I see you but I know that if I didn't I would be breaking alot more hearts than mine.....I promise you, my baby, I am going to find you amazing parents that will raise you and love you better then I can even imagine.....they will send me pictures of you and letters telling me about all the amazing things you are and will acomplish someday.....I can only hope and pray that you understand and realize that I am doing this out of love. I don't want you to hate me for what I am doing.....I can only hope your future parents will raise you to be an understanding and forgiving person and that someday we will meet and you will see all the love I have been saving for you your whole life........