The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Dear FutureMe, 2005 wasn't that bad of a year. Let's get the worse out of the way. The man you love and want to be with, J, is living with someone else. Not only that, his now fiancee is pregnant and the wedding is next year. Hurts like hell, huh? In another light though, you know you could never give this man what he wants; a family. So, should you hold out for a someday? The answer to that is no. Why should you put your life on hold for something that may never be? Do what you have always done, be the best friend that you can be to this person. Invest more time into yourself and to the ones who you know already love you. If someday down the road you end up together, wonderful. If not, then there will be someone else. We weren't meant to go this life alone, you just need to be ready, and we both know that you're not there yet. What you thought would be the worst thing turned out to be a blessing. God really pulled through on this for you - never forget that and how it made you feel. Be bold with your beliefs and convictions but not overbearing. Remember the reunion and what we found out about great grandma R; now you know where you get some of your wildness from. Put that with Auntie D's and your father's wild ways and lets face it, you come by your own wildness honestly enough. But just because they chose the roads they did does not mean you have to tread down those same paths. The best of what happened this year is your spiritual growth. It feels absolutely right to be where you are right now. Remember, this is a road without end. It is a continous journey with ups and downs and absolute car wrecks. You know where you need to go, it is just having the faith and trusting the Map Maker with what he gave you for directions. Hopes for you by the time you read this; some resolution and/or confimation with J, A to be still where he is at just doing a better job, to be doing at least good on your spiritual walk, and if J is not there, let there be someone else who is totally nuts (in a good way) about you. Remember, when it comes down to it, your a good person with a lot to offer, don't settle for less! Merry Christmas!