A letter from October 7th, 2020

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, I'll give you a little rundown of what's going on right now. I have court on the 15th where I testify for the first time. I decided to start visitation with Amanda again. I will no longer live with the Vaughns on November 1st. I still have therapy with Josh. I am on Zoloft still. I self-harmed a couple of days ago. I just deactivated my old Instagram, Facebook, and Gmail. I feel numb but also happy, I don't think that I am truly processing everything. CJ is in a shelter doing great, he called me three times in a row. I'm trying to finish up school so I can graduate next year. I haven't looked at colleges yet, and I'm contemplating joining the Air Force when I get out of high school. Now I have some questions 1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend? 2. Is your relationship with Amanda good? 3. How many years did Spencer get? 4. Rate your anxiety and depression. 5. Are you happy? 6. What's a goal you have for the future? 7. Did you join the military? 8. Are you taking care of yourself? 9. Have you gotten better at singing? 10. Have you lost weight? 11. Have you stopped self-harming? 12. Suicidal thoughts? 13. Have you learned to love yourself? I don't know what else to say except that I hope that you are happy, and I mean TRULY happy. You have come so far and I hope you never stop moving forward in life. I love you don't you forget that.

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

1. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Yes, I do have a boyfriend now, his name is Devin and we've been seeing each other for...

A butao onw htmno. . Iongg wlle aer tihgns. Alerly twhi be ot yhppa him m'i. .
2. Si thwi o?ogd toiershlnapi royu daaanm.
Esy o,nw. Os doog. Ash orkw mom dotay is to ewerh of be lto seh doen a. Rtlrueync heosu a sse'h ubginy.
3. Teg? mayn secnrpe idd how sraey.
He 3 lvebeie tgo seray i. L'lhe tuo eb osno. .
4. Taenyxi etra uyro dan srispendeo.
Smot as sdioneesrp 5/01 llwe syda 105/ si ytiaenx. Eeobfr tnah rtetbe.
5. Ear apy?hp ouy.
E,sy i ho ma. Allnyfi am i.
6. Aehv aglo ouy teh asthw' a e?utfur rfo.
To stefro go raih otgomlsyoec i to ibdar eri'chnsld lhosco dan watn.
7. Did eth ijno you ?mtlyaiir.
Vhea lfsuorey odt'n oyu lol ,eoripssnde ikd ieyxnta ,no nda.
8. Gaknti lsoyefur? of rae you crea.
Ostr fo. Ot gntyir. I wthi less wsa m'i a-eflhste ebettr ,tuhgho anht.
9. You ta eavh eretbt ngnigsi? tonetg.
I ayd it reha hinkt gets etrbte heva, yeevr i i.
10. Eti?ghw uoy ahve tols.
A lto. Ta i own itntigs wsa lueygarrl 130 mi' oabut 180 nhet.
11. -gfls?mirhaen odesptp yuo aveh.
Sye. And ma 6 !eacnl erya i ohntsm 1.
12. Icaudisl hhstt?oug.
As eomc not og dna yhte ,uhmc od. .
13. Uoy ot eavh olve o?seylruf eerlnad.
Ot anler airntgts ot mi' hwo. . . Odcsiine yad lwli zbeere a eyvre yavteenlul a be it is't. .

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