A letter from August 2nd, 2017

Hi there. This is from you (me) in the year 2017. Right now life isn't the greatest. Things are hard esp mentally/emotionally right now. You are currently not working and dealing with infertility/PCOS. Every day is a struggle, seeing everyone else around you getting pregnant and being happy and here you are worried, sad, bitter, angry, hopeless, yet hopeful...Dealing with all of the hard work to try and get pregnant. The specialist fertility appointments, the hormones, the shots, the drugs, the hopes and dreams, the let downs, the tww's, the sex, the money, the exhaustion,all of the millions of little things you have to do to try and make it work and makes every month a little bit harder, the depression, the anxiety and stress, the ignorant people around you, the pain, the anger, the resentment, the jealousy, the pregnancy tests, the ovulation tests, the constant googling of everything, the charting temps, the acupuncture, the obsessive healthy eating and supplements, the disappointment, the seeing only 1 line, the period, the holding your legs up in the air after sex, the timing of everything down to a t, the hoping and praying and wishing, the obsessing over every little sign, the worrying, the heartache, the checking CM, the suppositories/progesterone, the emotions, the negative self defeating thoughts, the wearing socks, keeping my uterus warm, avoiding ice drinks and spicy foods, I could go on ALL DAY! I hope it all paid off! You want to get pregnant and have a child so badly. You want to grow your family and meet the little person that is half of you and Nick. I promise you those things will happen in time, one way or another. I hope this letter reaches you in better spirits. I hope you are happy and already have a child/children. I hope your life turned out how you dreamed it would be. I hope you are still madly in love with Nick, have bought a new house that can fit your family, you found passions, hobbies, and a job that you love and are proud of. I hope your/our children are beautiful and smart and more than you could have ever imagined or hoped for. I genuinely hope this has happened for you now. If not don't give up hope. It is still possible, there is still time. Just keep going and it will all be worth all of the struggles when you meet your sweet baby. I love you and keep your head up girl. If you have kids, give them a kiss from me and tell them that their mom from the future loves them so much and sacrificed SO very much for them to be here and it glad it took a little work and time, because it makes her love and appreciate them a little more... Also that it took so long because perfection takes time and the perfect children had to be picked out and that's why it took a little while. Kiss Nick for me too and tell him how much I loved him back then, and how much more I do now that he is the father of our children. I love you too Coral because I know you are a very strong, funny, intelligent, beautiful woman full of so much potential and love. Stay strong and keep fighting whatever battle lays ahead of you.