A letter from February 16th, 2016

"You don’t seem to like me. Maybe we got this far because you were bored or thought I was hot or wanted an easy lay. I don’t know. All I know is that you seem, with every fiber of your being, to disdain the person in bed next to you, and I’ve done this — been this pathetic hanger-on — too many times before. I won’t do it anymore. I can’t. I can’t. I won’t." -Megan Seawell I think this is too god a description of our relationship. I don't want it to be, I want to ignore it and I know that I will. Because you're so sweet, and kind, and nice to me and I love the way you kiss and fuck and touch me. But you don't like me. You never say any kind words. And if I get angry, or sad, or dissapointed, you don't try to make me feel better. I can understand that you get tired, I need approval so much more than what should be necessary. But I'm working on that. And anyways, it doesn't really matter, because that's part of who I am. I need nice words every now and then. I need to know that you care, somehow. I don't think you like me. I don't really understand why we're together (or whatever we're supposed to call this), but it's not love, or love-like feelings for you. That's not what's keeping you here. I wish I was strong enough to end it. But I know I wont. Because I like you, and I just can't give up something so good right now. I wonder how you got out of it. How did it end, in the end? T.