From Your Past...

Dear FutureMe, It is the fall of '03, a Thursday afternoon. You will have no classes tomorrow, and for this you are thankful. And relieved. You've been living in your Brentwood apartment now for two months, and already you have late rent and no way to pay it (your new checks have not yet arrived, and they won't take Mommy and Daddy's AmEx). You have about $400 in one bank account, about $2300 in the other, and you are still uncertain as to whether or not you will receive your scholarship check now that Daddy's unemployed. If you do, you do not know if it will be for $1400 or $1600. You owe the electric company $152.14 because Mom didn't pay the bill last month. If you don't have it paid in two weeks, they'll cut off service. Unfortunately, the bank account info won't clear until the day before that payment is due to prevent cut-off. Did you make it on time? Sure hope so, or it will be a rought couple of days until you can get it paid, with no lights, no food, no computer... You owe your parents $300 in pet fees, $200 in shopping spree charges (Hey, you REALLY needed to begin to revamp your wardrobe. BTW, still wearing baggy jeans and t-shirts and no makeup every day? BAD call!), you desperately need a haircut, and you owe the apartment complex $50. Money is NOT a cheery subject at the moment, especially since you are verboten from working during school... So why, again, does Mom expect you to be paying the bills?!? How did surgery on your ankle go? Have you had to have surgery on the other one, or does it still appear that the other ankle will be fine without? Have you decided yet about taking a 5th year of school and getting that teaching certification and whatnot? Are you still with Garrett? Married yet? Maybe even pregnant (God forbid!)?? How are Kimmie, Schatzie, and Tobey, and are the rats still alive (doubtful, given their life span and age when this was written)? Did Matt end up moving in, and if so, how did that turn out? There are so many questions I'd like to ask you, so many answers I need now to determine in which direction to go from here... As things stand, I love Garrett with all my heart and count on marrying him after graduation. I live with five of the world's most adorable and affectionate animals, without whom I'd be utterly lost, I'm afraid. I'm overwhelmed by financial issues that have never before been an issue, what with living in the dorms and, before that, with my parents... My station wagon appears to be dying at the young age of five years, and I don't know if I'll be driving it much longer. I love my apartment, but I feel like I may have bitten off more than I can chew by living on my own... I feel like there's so much left to learn, so many choices to make... And I'm afraid I'll make the wrong ones. So, FutureMe, I hope this email finds you in better spirits than when it was written. I hope it finds you confident, secure, and BLISSFULLY happy. And married. Or at least engaged to that wonderful man who dotes on you and gives you so much more than you deserve (even if he is a little insecure at times, it's only because he values you above all else, so don't you forget it!)... I hope you have finally made your peace with God, that you've finally taken your lazy ass to a psychiatrist and begun dealing with your depression instead of trying to ignore it, and that you've accomplished all you hope for at the time of writing this email. Much love and best wishes, The You From The Past