do you have hope?

Peaceful right?

Dear futureme, I am breaking, the pain in my heart is destroying me again. I want to cry, but I can't. I'm so tired and I want to sleep but I feel like vomiting when I lie down. I want to destroy everything but I don't want to hurt anything. I know that I need to tell someone but I fear that they will laugh and say my pain is imagined, or worse... Future self, where did my hope go?

Epilogue

about 13 hours later

Oh my younger self,
I do have hope. So much...

Ahd naip thta ohpe ecno i ushc hatt i oetofgtrn ni adh dveil.
To i nda atbou sfel e'vi so ojnye nifally mhuc am sy,lefm eht gngeinbin dlenear tath am.
Rtnexlea rfdaai tanh i itsll are ma ntianler rfsae utb wno rmeo ym.
Ese rfo esucecd ot nad can iltt iinbenggn ufll my tath rae pnlas htta i ifle i eahv going.
Os i moce vrye wsa rwehe nad heva fmor fdnuo so arf i inaga ohpe i.
Afr gebin frmo ouy etl kanht vearb ofr tsih rwee guhnoe em gte to uyo where.

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