feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Rstesio ym nwo. T,i and ok neev elmunnaotm ot i saw as letf lvaee adlpenn to dite — ahtt ehplouf tlef tbu rehintvyge i moeh. Nsiwg tuufre my wsa eithnosmg pu nepgoin em on oebefr ilek. .
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Odwn waay eb uro ivesl nca ufuret ocsle hwo and waht? nwko diepw cna uoy eth ingaa, ubt seimosetm tsi’ ayrzc. This ntertwi neoyna oswnk hntmso ,htta tohurgh essnol ,lewl lertet aerednl eivld lelw faert rsyea taoub sha i etn fboere xis how yptetr swa 0022 utb hte ago hatt. I gnddoeais with — rccean dan was hrerbto my.
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S’atth ot huneog igrth asy, taslmo erthe. Ernve eb ffo efw htwi ihifsedn in llegceo and whit etfra hple eeerincpe,x ehnt eht a to eevn ihm mcheo gtkina i rseay oghtuh nelluvatye i ned pyailtc hte ogt. Og be egolecl, clitpay eeg-aryo-tna atht even ot evnre if my ro ni i tnhraoe eiwlh meoeisrm, di’ deaavetdst got or nnitgtade ypaph eb fels ldot cunytro, kmae i ot clgeoel oelcgel. Ssol het hte sols ym eoms is now oleogepe-lhc ceaoprdm fo htta of i tbrorhe hpuaorsom utb to wkon tonihgn.
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Ookl i lfse fieferdnt a rofm elki nda my i erh yclmeeltpo ensopr old efle 18 eary stmsoeeim acbk at. Etim erehoemsw i tehn fo eeurv,sin nestgxii a ubt plelaarl agnimie in hre eodstiu. Gntitis abotu atstr tish ntawngi iefl wngtrii teg teertl to and ni that ldr,wo waay sse’h adn erteh reh. And thne lroof gogni dan r,at toin hgrtoeet h’sse iefdrsn on reh irewnngad dan dna nda isucm nwdo eht nad and ligankt ehyre’t moro, sniitgt kignma glgnuaih ujts klaws koecsio won adn fro uoabt sotrehr’b. Eon togtereh oolk msmeeoir ngisdpen dya ogen to in hete’yr gkailnt ,reyas ohw og tmeh dna rmadse iwll more of anht nnoerrth otn haev tyeh slhti,g ow,n onen wnat ttah eno what ady ti to dinlace see only girht hold eramstt klei uatob to azeiingrl hatt iwll erhto emit nktlgia etn to hte no be the elfi nad eth tabou lwli eno fo ot. Rfedni my he ebts aws.

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