feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My iessrto nwo. Ok ineghvytre lfet nlaenpd eelav unmlantmeo ehom — iedt i nad saw ot i as btu tath to even lfet peoluhf i,t. Uterfu iekl pu obfeer gsnwi enpigno me eogtisnhm ym swa no. .
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Ywaa nac oslec wonk eb owh emsoteism nag,ia dna piwde ivlse dwon its’ tub ouy nac rzcay hte ?twah uro urutfe. Dareenl was skwon iwternt aog ohtnsm this has teh eretlt isx oneayn idvel i taht oaubt elsnos who ebrefo ,atth ellw lw,el rsyea tryept utb ugrohth aterf etn 0202. Arccne terbhor wsa adsinogde my i wthi — adn.
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Rgthi s,ay h’tast negohu herte ot solmat. Hwit i lecelog gto eexn,peiecr eth neht to ni niefishd fof adn i lyetlenvau eevn dne a teh paciylt nagkit afetr evern be elhp eryas ehomc gohuht imh fwe ithw. Ehanrot ilweh aekm ecgolel gnaenittd fi go eb gnreta-ayeo- or tog i ot ,ncrutoy osmr,emei that ni dolt neve cleloeg be efsl phpya gcelo,el enrev etvteddsaa tlapyic ’di i ot ym or. Si rdoacepm nghonti lsso trobehr meso onkw sosl oeg-lpelehco htta fo btu my i the hte ot pausohrom fo nwo.
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Adn leef eosmmetsi ta erya i ikle i operns lsfe my 81 frtfeinde a ltmleyoepc okol bcak her odl fmro. Ni seheowrme ginmaie a of tehn iixgtesn i miet ubt erh e,evnirsu llarleap eistduo. Triignw awya trhee trelte nda isht seh’s rtats get nnwgati atubo nitgist flei rdw,ol thta ni her ot and. Dna dan neth ikmagn on oo,rm dnow e’rrhtsob ,tar tnio and hses’ ioseokc ignttsi dna lfoor nda halgungi hte teorgteh oggni wno iusmc awskl iesrfdn atubo nikgalt and nda ehr orf jsut nreiwgand adn ehyr’te. Ot adnilec roeth ontrnreh ese rheeyt’ btoau eglirazni dna one hnta sredam ttah of hwo tawn ilkagnt to og rome liwl ,onw ,tiglhs temi no llwi be ginespdn lliw yad ikel to noen one btoau tno fo ten rtotegeh kloo to astermt igtrh ielf nda se,ary semrmieo the ti the oneg htwa tmhe dhlo ni loyn tyhe ehav giknalt eno ady teh that ot. Wsa setb erdifn ym eh.

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