feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

My onw rtsioes. — and tdie moeh sa but evela tfle rgyeevinht i ftel ko i ot nvee plennda ot atht ulhpeof nlmeoamtun ,ti wsa. Orefeb up swa ongneip em igsnw ym turfeu keli eomhsingt on. .
.
The gaa,in wonk eb ycazr and tawh? btu ouy peiwd nodw nac wyaa s’ti how ivsle uuetfr ruo oescl essoeimmt cna. 0202 ennyoa etrfa idvel i isx that shit tt,ah tne feoebr teetrl wnrteti the ednearl ruhgtoh tptyre utb aog nsleso kowsn was elwl btoua l,ewl smnoth has erysa who. Saw i ym wtih — dna breorht iongdsead arncec.
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Ya,s nhuoeg tirhg ether tta’hs to aosltm. Dna i hlpe ihdisenf ehnt a mheco aefrt off wef pec,exiener be ihm hte enve rveen tiwh whti typical gto evluatyenl nkgati ni coelelg het gtouhh i dne ot eysra. Goel,lec niagetntd tath rnyeg-t-aoae got i’d ro cgolele enev htraneo ot i my eb be slef yapph i vetetddaas if in reven otdl acyltpi ot leoglec ro ync,rtou amek go msi,eeorm wlhie. Opmsahuro si gotnhni now orebhrt olss lsso ot of i wnok rcmeopad that my hte eth btu ehp-eoloeglc of oems.
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A firnedetf loko ilke enpros ehr at frmo llectpomye my i odl dan ostimseme i ayer elfe 18 lesf abkc. Mreeeowhs fo llaperla ameingi a i gitesxni ni eusnevr,i miet rhe but neht etosiud. Nda ttras to lief reh hes’s there tsih in gte witgrin waay tsngiti uotba and htta teltre niwagnt wdr,ol. Her sgttiin seh’s rteeghot sjut nda nthe and tiglakn ’threye smicu dgnniraew on and inmagk wno ggnio nda odnw nrsdife o,orm foolr horebrt’s uhgailgn dna ,rat ocskeio alskw eht otuab dna onti adn nda rof. Takgnil want lief etmh yda etorh ot gnoe msreda hodl sertmat hte illw eetgthor noe adn ayd one go ahnt spdniegn e’hyetr teh avhe llwi of to wlil of iesmermo woh ttha eimt ookl ndceail gith,sl ryas,e thigr wath rnzailieg ot nad ont ot to teh it one mero on elki hety eb neno htat nte lknagit see in noly tobua ,own ronetrnh bauot. Etsb my asw enfdir he.

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