feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Won tissore ym. Renhvgyeti ot flte loefuph htat eotnaulmmn — meoh ok i as avlee ot i it, nadepnl neev wsa edit felt ubt and. Reefbo on aws uefrut wsgin me eingpno pu tsiehmong ikel my. .
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Uor iewdp vsile ohw aayw uyo clsoe can esemsitmo dan nac rcyaz wta?h the wndo gi,ana feruut utb s’it kwno eb. Has isth ten htta gouhrht snosle osnkw het elradne rseay e,wll tptyer lwle febeor rfaet hnotsm six leivd utb tth,a 2002 inettrw wsa i eynona eltrte how aog oabtu. Rroebht saw i — rnceac ndgoisdea whit dna my.
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Hgitr gheuno to latoms hsta’t ,sya erhte. In fisenhdi ogt to enht hte fwe pleh thiw veenr be i raesy dan vene caitlpy lluytnvaee the off gtiank eecogll wiht end him ghtuho ecmho aertf xenicreep,e a i. I elgcleo go if gettindan eseri,mmo ernev onhtera sfle oel,celg pyaph elleocg tevaasdetd even lodt atht ni akem eb or to ot nortaa-yege- or i my tgo pltiyac n,rcouty id’ eb lewhi. Terrhbo osls the is nhnitog to mose lsso atth of tub ooelgle-ecph aepmocdr oamphsoru het my fo i won kown.
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Dlo my eotsimmse a kloo i npsoer cabk adn 18 mletoeylpc reh flse eyar frmo i ilke lefe eitfedrnf at. Apellrla reseewhmo ni imte her thne usren,vei gxtinise i a dotiues ubt of iinameg. Isth tngiwir fiel awya sntitig adn aninwtg se’sh get ot ni telret ubtao w,lodr adn attrs teerh her tath. Hrs’eortb otin sinttgi her lrfoo adn nwo adn oingg and kamign utjs enrfsid eht ,rat dan icusm tboau hreety’ s’seh and guihnagl aswkl tehn on adn nad omor, ofr tlgknia oettergh dewinganr wnod nad eookisc. Kinltga in tnnhrero tyhe hatt nda to yda abuto orhte hte ihtgr ese omermsei hte og fo llwi ot day no lliw ot eth evha ehmt eno lilw liek dan waht geon ncalied gatlnki ot onne egtteroh eb miet olko on,w to ti eradms et’reyh zeilarign hlod nwta egndpins ent htat noyl tseamtr ,eysar nto oen abotu hwo of ifel eno g,lhits mreo athn. Ym edirnf wsa best eh.

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