Five years ago today...

Time Travelled — almost 5 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Sitting in the study of my house in Liberty St, i feel compelled to throw a few questions into the deep dark abyss. It can't hurt i guess... I don't really know what i wanted to say in this letter, but hopefully it will bring a smile to your face. Currently you're with Steve, living the two of you in your 3 bedroom terrace together. You're happy most of the time, but you both have your moments. Occasionally you consider getting married, but the moment always passes. Perhaps next year in Amster*** you will raise the subject - you already know how he feels. If you're not with Steve any more, then i hope you have found forgiveness, either for him or for yourself. You've recently decided to get fit and healthy again. Eating 5 small meals per day is a good idea, so is walking the 50 minute home everyday. Hopefully you've stuck to your commitment, and are now happy with yourself and how you look. I imagine by now that you will have started your Masters. Keep at it, and you'll be finished before long. Your undergrad degrees weren't that hard, so you'll make it. You just have to believe in yourself. You're also job hunting - trying to find a more definite career path for yourself. This too will require patience and timing. Get over the Premier's job, if you haven't already. You can't win them all. Whatever you're doing now, make sure that you enjoy it. Make it a pleasure and your life will be richer. Jordan has just finished his first year of school, and Oliver his first of preschool. Hopefully they are healthy happy young boys now, intelligent and kind. Tell them that you love them. you should say that to Dad and Angela as well, and Gma and Gpa. Where would you be without these people? Love and honour your friends. Stand by them through thick and thin. They love you, don't forget that. If you feel your Spanish and French are slipping, then do something about it. Languages are amazing skills to have. Forget about your mother. If she wants to live her secluded life of misery, then there is nothing you can do to help her. When she comes back to you, then you can work out what is wrong and help her, but until that time remember that she does not want you in her life. Remember the 27/08/2007. And finally, i'll leave you with your favourite quote: If you can fix a problem, then you don't need to worry about it. If you can't then worrying won't fix it anyway! Live a long and happy life. With much affection. D

Epilogue

6 days later

Dear me,

Wow, five years ago somethings were very different, and yet some were still the same. It seems strange to think that i thought i was happy, when in...

I gnhiav eliwh i ro eetsv sex thehwre me wsa slpet uesr itwh reenv ont asw yaertli. I ta taht suges ushc it, i nvee gnkihtin my was iemt fo eahv egvynthrei a tuaob asme i eyse utsm idnael ni bnee erats sgnbri ttuhgoh to atset ti tub nief eth.
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Bekro i scien tptrey p,ete emit prorep resoetlrlorca htiw htta up tsi' nda bnee bene ofr a me sah shtomn wot hucm. Elef ekil ,mhi of - issm i on dysa i nad ihst i isms tol thea imh i hatt a. Gittsni uddcel sih ot sujt this, rpat ot loudw em erhe haev etngotgfri of vole - amsr enev estixs htat orwdl eenv dsiine the pu yigptn. I btauo ttah het girht me ilegfen it asd okwn ti form but tpso i yb deon e'odnst h,mi igleanv ihtng so hvea. I nlloey enliegf elik i isth feel ateh -. Eon teh 'todn frtis tgse tefl to smeo i tikhn lyilfna felse cspae know eno ,teeflhsm wenh utb ta jstu atth nda od eitm uoetsild i won or ot ahwt. Igneemt csyra awy gatdin datiitmngiin eaid ettrads uttb si of oingg dna eh bt,eesisw ppleoe ttah tib eevn no a eiv'. Of oerhtan 'mi raoptihelsni symlfe gntetig illorauntocei/bvgns iotn olsa raidfa. Onkw is ttha i tpso a to ti iecnrdso htat ot blobyrap dluwo own ssui,es ubt aevh htsee that hnitg i ysa 'teodsn hte rsayc tbu apul uhhrotg fo lssilk gnbei kowr aesnaebrl,o het stecrppo. Feel ckstu egitntg ni i klie nrauod dna lnivig ees remtsha hgivna i biasbe, ma gddnmeado i helew fe,il osme rideram, leppoe me. Egiv ninmega dnee noit adn ttsea tnikh my fall i heintgoms hwisteore ot ot a ruop,pse i lief abck nfid llwi ipeverdess i.
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Eeiygntvhr ok i hipe eb lliw. Reus lilw it m'i be. Ni ym i aorvuf aveh a lto wrnkogi. Fo it i louwd paehs nrmtiudtaesede nda tsju ohw le,ef i woh ratp oepc uessg i vyrrcoee ithw e/olyrlpowl loduw the htsi. Uot srtta dna ti nca i od gaain rceiiesgxn lal is yrc. Eht ts'i ahrd fndi do it ot ot itnavtmooi. Eoms sroena i do to i of veha stbe sentitnoin i ti waylas fdin ton rieymevet utb het ytr. To will imtes gdiinr krwo few i weke i eb thta - gdoo rfo trats nikth elhlfyuop a me rpe lliw. Fnssiet dna oogd rof my ccnneeidof ym. Teh nriat i ohert days alkw nda can. Be ehpcrea lsao thimg it.
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Eam"s rish"ligat the saty wlil emsa as not rgy"ehëintv eth eb will rgeyhetvi"n ton.

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