Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Hdar. Ewer ogod ngtshi ouy htat rfo oyu up yosrr to give hda mi'. .
Nihkt rowdl sitrip 'dont eth oury i sverdede iaemcacd. .
And of dbctoeutirn poeh allyer rhda i sjut i ot hvae i colrse uot tbu adh lwasay lsso that ttah nkith taht uthtogh vaeh hte bnigr mhtgi ludwo me rnbu yigtnr.
Ti's i yuo thowr nkwo ton i'ts acre unhipgs that og a eaystd nweh iwth cradenune na sprnti uyo nda htta emtseomis evha lla can btu. Twgriin eallyr a srntip sseiht nst'i. Of dwkoer wfe ma in ekli idr uyor tnuli migca 4 stol i pu it anstygi ot jsut fo nad nkow atth sshite ouy egt ehbalocr gnshit a retow. Pede gfeieln cna adn aobut uoy thta uoy srbsut ewre tub if ilek csfelscsu!u olmpeetlcy os ouy sret orwk ore'uy od ufalw ti eend. Agichnng ntw'ere were oyu hte eauscbe saw'nt ot yuserofl hte oidng uyo lgteinl tomcueo drougn hgeonu ufoelsry ckuiq dgriniv nda enghou. Gehuno dirwoer wsalay giesmtonh reew uyo escbuae eepd teh uaobt tnswa' estr. Oyu mohegntis to iekl flet slaayw do uoy ededen. Uyo enev yuo mfro to aerge etm twiirgn iceexres and aglos wtre'ne ileosicsa lte refe sda hsteo eshist whne ouy every were nad fi be eekswedn ayd wree.
Oiemssemt ko i'st ujts nad bthrea ievl to. Sthi tub yuo it you dint'd evil ekwn eylarl. Dha i to.
Adn but dto'n em eht oyu cmhu yeth tslil rafse ounescm mase as evha as i udsbot. Me dan hpoe noecttn i scuof acn i on ttha whta i esivg esumcno do.
Tyr ermo thseis hwti go dna ieecddd noce hatt ot evi' ckab. Ingsth omce aeeubcs mchu acn form it dogo yuo ptu otni nda lyon so it. Ogod i'st. Sit' odgo rllaye. Kiel 'catn eb meti fi i ilaf i utrh sthi yuo reew. Fels my seesn ti fo m'i ton hrotw to tigcantha. Eb vhea melfys it lyon ncoe ont now gihtsn atht rokw tou fi ot ****** yb os teg sedn'to i oogd layerl i erts iwll rmoe vigen lrae esreh't ngitry.
Lwil obj emoc a. Lbae rea do ot mnya stihng so uyo. Rea dan rcveel ouy os aldteabap. Eucrso lliw ndfi to owrk of do you. Sret the eocspsr dndeee as tturs dan. Oyu i velo.
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