Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Dhar. Vige up dha ot tath sryor rof yuo yuo ogdo inthsg i'm erew. .
Iitpsr otnd' lrwod vesdrede miedacac tknih i teh oyur. .
Taht me saaywl nkith aveh gnrtiy oettdrcubni ttah i to the heva llyrea olss tub dan mgith dowul dah atht tuo i sutj oeslrc i of thutgho nrigb ubrn epho adhr.
You nda na hispnug tno go haev acer i tath a rsptni teyasd ttah nhew t'is aucnderne nac hitw onwk esomsmiet uyo 'tis lal but orthw. 'tisn nwtgiri eyarll a itsesh srpnit. 4 kile wdoker ni thngsi rid ma slot of trwoe amgic siseth utsj agsitny pu i it oyur teg few uoy konw crobhlea iutnl htta fo ot adn a. Adn can reew ielgfne utb uoy hatt etrs it so if rye'ou deen oyu edep luwfa wkor oyu do bussrt ielk culfsc!usse butao otclleymep. Eerw hgnueo the gnvidri uoy ot oocmute wtsna' fuyoserl ingdo ueonhg osrelfuy adn gainnchg ouy qcuki eht ueacesb ngoudr tlngeil etew'rn. Uyo eedp btoua rwee nugohe asawly owirdre snhiomteg het etsr 'nswta bcusaee. Keil nmsighoet aswyla to uoy edened od you ltef. Eeagr adn oyu ot enev tesho if ntgiirw uyo adn yad soiesalci weer eb fmro ewre erfe ogasl wenh cixresee emt tle nkwdeese yuo reeyv hseist er'wtne asd.
Utsj ko to adn tis' sseetmoim tbaerh viel. Eayrll tsih but oyu ouy i'nddt nwek it vlie. Ot ahd i.
Umch htye mase hte lltis tub esfra dna ubostd heva meusnoc i otd'n sa me as oyu. Em seocmnu sevig suofc od htaw tcntoen on i i hatt anc pohe i nda.
Ei'v ryt iddedec ithw go onec to bkca orem adn atht sitseh. Omrf oogd ti chum anc ti tup uyo lnyo sigthn coem so sceeuba tnio nad. 'its oodg. Gdoo is't arlley. I leki fali ihst be uyo if ta'cn miet rewe ruht i. Fo ot not my nhttaacgi hrowt ti esnes esfl mi'. Own aerl atth etno'ds os msylfe by ngvei if out relyal tihgsn lwil i rset not tge okrw be dgoo ti veha ****** to i grtiny ynlo es'reht noec rmeo.
Cemo bjo a lwli. Era ynam ebal so uyo do ihsngt to. Yuo dan cvrele os rea baaaepldt. Oyu wlli of to od owrk uocres dnfi. Esrt pessorc teh sa nad uttsr nedede. Oelv uoy i.
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