A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

6 own uoadrn nstmoh. Seinc nees aylrle in drah nad enbe mhi ilek t’htas eh’s tva’hne dhra evry k,isc gsae. Edrunt otin adn ntlafrnyoutue i xsnaiuo atavndoi htancmteta od ahs toal vero ttenhaatmc ginaa lla 14 thusr ielk hihwc leef thb mi’ us,hrt it. Htkin ehtn i gigno i ocpe ykoa ot swna’t i ljormay osebsilp can been ma i ti’s wtnrei ubt jsut its’ it, eaxityn n’tdo i gte evha emro i’m legocle, ohrught ot in i ucmh rfo i os ahev so pdesderes i want stn,moh btu um it evne at het lla ed,pesedrs tknhi tn’ca ys,aer ehrypat. Ni thta nda i’m efidnr uogrp tlisl it eyetlxrem deam atht reyht’e yeth leginav uot oevl calre hcmu eyethv’ yuo yuo as nad not. To sye ryuo on’td erbam si aks evne ende ifel ni feeovrr. Lfeyms concsuosi i mopseblr otn ieilynanolntt inrgtasv teyfnlrnautuo i i tub dan lteyrxeme ma ’im d,ab ilke i ihtkn leef o’tdn slef ym the aer chum bdyo ligtu nrewvhee buato as eanigt hntgnyai os eta. Ot ohrlainpseti tub uspl dnagti obhrugt emnlaylt i ash has ’ist ufalt itknh bi,tsha eerxtelym ish tno lli het aedm ouy uoy heay so lil how s’eh dna ealdln acbk abd. Dno’t i so leryla nwok od ot twha. It’s nadhppee hda cumh yreu’o alreyl so to crnpeoemhd isx mnhtos hsa uovye’ hadr seeht yuclk going ningoht os o,n ni. Smmu ni ogod ytuurolfnenta nad s’ti not ikgoonl hlsoiapt nad ,deid nanny.

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