A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

Hmnsto 6 won onuard. Geas imh hadr ,skic h’atst neeb adhr esne esh’ nda in aerlly ielk csien vrey than’ve. Olat ti tornleautfnyu htr,su niusxao vroe nda into ekli lal sha i’m od chwih taechamntt 41 i aniga naioadvt hsurt tametahtnc bth terudn leef. Evah alrmjoy ,it utb pesilbso n’awst am i ithnk i anc cn’ta kayo tawn im’ odn’t ecgllo,e epdesr,eds to neht moer i’ts sm,onth ry,sae iewtnr mu gte neeb ogign i lla it uhhrgot so tjsu edseserpd utb i cope fro cmhu heav at i ni hte prytaeh so aietxny i ti’s neve to hktni i i. Dan ifredn uto levo vilngae yehe’tv sa dmae chmu llsti yxteremle racle ouy adn you ttah ton eyht that ti hty’ree ’im ni pgoru. Si verrfoe to sye neev kas deen ebmra yrou dtn’o eifl ni. I flse keli vsainrgt elnaiinlytnto eta tub ’mi ,abd i prbelmos doyb gitlu femsly i ont so are o’tnd am evehernw my eth nhitk sa nad exteylerm egnita uocicsosn gantiyhn i mcuh lfee buaot yfntaruneotul. I hsa ugtrohb gitadn lil allned aftlu dab ash iknht hsi nda t’si ouy tmleeyxre dema ouy bkca yhae owh ton lnltyame ot lups but so oaestnhrpiil he’s eth iasb,ht ill. I do laeylr so kwno ot ndo’t atwh. Vyou’e to sit’ ethes so sxi hrda ,on humc nmoths nphdapee ghontni in so rlealy adh ash ggnio ouey’r cuykl hnperomdec. Ton dna shiptlao die,d ynnan doog s’it nunyfetotrual klnoogi in mmsu dna.

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