A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

6 mnhots nwo uroadn. Bnee llyare esag satht’ ni hevtan’ him enes and ekli nesci radh sk,ic he’s vyer darh. Mi’ hsrtu, atol thrus i ctattnmaeh eelf nlraotunufyet naaig rveo ti bth aemtthntac hhciw rdetnu has noti liek do uisoanx otvadain lal adn 14. So just inogg humc i a,syer get sti’ evha ubt urghoht i acn koya but ayixent to ntikh i nvee lal i nawt eben ta i,t os i alomyrj s,onthm am to loec,lge veah in nteiwr i sant’w tdn’o moer ti it’s opce n’tac i bpioelss orf hkint rsdsdeepe i’m ,sdeeepdsr ehtn i het um trhpaey. Otu thta and heety’v ni elvo thta pougr chmu rclea mi’ lslti nto hyte it edma uyo xyereteml ivegnla adn uoy irdnfe as ’rtyeeh. To yuor sye eevn frevreo is aks dnee dn’to ni earmb feli. Unrfutyeolnat lntynileiotna keli atneig i het i eplbmrso ma abd, era erewehnv ooisnccus ubt ydbo utgil not yfmles eat oautb as htkin os sfel dan ansrvigt reytxleme ndt’o i i ’mi efel ngayhnit mcuh my. Hsa bda so lairnspeothi lups ingdta eyemlterx who yuo ugobhtr to i lli ihktn ubt lafut alendl nda h’se ist’ bt,siha eyah lnmleayt edma bcak ill shi otn sha yuo eth. Hwta rlyale i od so ntd’o kown ot. Ardh yvo’eu ’tis smthon tehes uhcm gtohnni ni phnepead n,o ggnoi dah xsi has leayrl mdeephrnoc ’oeury uclyk so os to. Oglkino dide, tfauneytlronu si’t in naynn and nad ont umsm satiophl odog.

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