A letter from Jun 09, 2024

Dear 28 year old me, How are you doing? At this moment, I am sitting in the overpriced apartment feeling empty, distant, tired. I'm making plans to move soon to Upstate New York. It's scary, I'm feeling scared, nervous, sad and bitter about it. But I'm also excited. I'm relieved that I can finally start fresh in a new place in a large house. I just worry it'll be hard being away from my family and away from civilization basically. But I'll be with Trevor, I won't be alone. I'll also have his brother and his mom to keep me company, and I can also call my parents and my sis and play with my cousins if I'm ever feeling lonely. I think I'll be fine. Whilst living in the apartment, I was wasting away, I felt like nothing would improve. I'd waste so much money to the verge of being homeless, I'd do nothing but stay cooped up inside and watch YouTube videos or play video games. Over time I had lost my passion and excitement for everything. The rose-colored glasses I wore since I was a child had worn off. Everything seemed gray, in the blue skies of sunny San Diego. I couldn't look at my art, I couldn't grasp any energy I had to open up my painting software to draw, or open up a book. Even my favorite franchise, Zelda, I lost the drive to play those games too. I was so focused on working and resting with mindless things that my passion had dwindled away. This move, I hope it's something that you enjoy. I hope it brings back that passion for adventures, new ideas, storytelling and art. I hope you can see that you will want to do the things you've always loved to do. I want to be happy again. Yes, you will hurt, and cry, but it's all proof that this is something you need. I still haven't planned how to get there, I had just recently made the decision to move out of here. The plan is a road trip, stuff the car only with the necessities, sell anything we don't need and move as soon as possible. I have to find a part time job, or a remote job that I can do, I have to sell my car and buy a new one over there. There's so much to plan and do, but I'm excited. Scared, but excited. I hope you enjoy this new adventure, and new chapter in your life. It's time to wake up and breathe in the new fresh air, smell the pine and enjoy the outdoors. I think this is what you need. Yes the winter will be hard and you have to prepare for that, but you will enjoy it too. Don't isolate yourself, if you miss someone, call them, text them, send them a small picture or write them a letter. I think it's something you need to do because now you will be on your own. And anyway, happy 28th Birthday. You might be in New York already and you might not, but whenever it happens, it'll be fun. Enjoy it. -Past you