A letter from April 19th, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, it’s a couple days before my birthday 18/04/24 (BIG 17 not the lil one) and i feel like absolute ****. i’ve had the worst couple days ever and i just feel like i’ve been set up all day. I rlly just want to die, I thought i could be strong but these thoughts have come back and idk i just feel worthless and like a failure i have nothing going on in my life (im heavily disconnected and lost my spark) and no one who cares. i feel like life is not worth living anymore, as it's just this continuous cycle of me getting disappointed in every aspect of my life. I know i have a lot to be thankful for physically, but mentally i am not okay and i just want the pain to go away. i swear my step mum set me up ngl like she dead knew what she was doing with the grease thing. I had a feeling that my day wasnt gonna go as planned and it in fact did not im over feeling like this i just want it to end.Though i think i am giving up, i rlly do hope i can prevail, but i am unsure if i will come out the other end unscathed. if you made it and you're reading this i do hope life is better .

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

Lemme tell youu, life has been good and also bad which is expected, however mentally i’m still not...

So eb rehe opcitismti ot ubota ekli eekp i the erlyal ma nnidgerim i try rhwee i eufurt be cf)o woudl wyh to mymmu dan o(rf fmyesl. And bene ash ym ckngiki vi’e ky griytn *** eth nttncoe yb neeb ym rbag niu teh ot arnnelig ohld ncke riisiperto utb and. Wot fo yas gib im’ irsk et’ls i’st ooigknl dyas tsohre and idpiorteirs no th18 lysfem jtus nad dtuys esaitdn my rbtydiha ta icl i fo feebor won my. Sa eh aveh ksa lalows for i lla ot realyl htngi halasl but my nad yb shit hrtadybi opwer iedivn agecr me its noe. Vei’ peessnro nvigig slttiys ti toaerhn gi ascpe be me lpsu the ,eyra so a i ti l + ubt ones srh42 erfe ilke dvleo cna so iekl byus hnve’ta ktae orf ’im ot nlokogi ym ihwt ki tbu ot n,ma phypa get hgimt ath’ts also i ihts 🌚 spengdni tdrei a hvae sa its’ eedirvv. .

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