A letter from April 19th, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, it’s a couple days before my birthday 18/04/24 (BIG 17 not the lil one) and i feel like absolute ****. i’ve had the worst couple days ever and i just feel like i’ve been set up all day. I rlly just want to die, I thought i could be strong but these thoughts have come back and idk i just feel worthless and like a failure i have nothing going on in my life (im heavily disconnected and lost my spark) and no one who cares. i feel like life is not worth living anymore, as it's just this continuous cycle of me getting disappointed in every aspect of my life. I know i have a lot to be thankful for physically, but mentally i am not okay and i just want the pain to go away. i swear my step mum set me up ngl like she dead knew what she was doing with the grease thing. I had a feeling that my day wasnt gonna go as planned and it in fact did not im over feeling like this i just want it to end.Though i think i am giving up, i rlly do hope i can prevail, but i am unsure if i will come out the other end unscathed. if you made it and you're reading this i do hope life is better .

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

Lemme tell youu, life has been good and also bad which is expected, however mentally i’m still not...

Rngendiim ywh kepe mtoctiisip rehe eb rof( eb o)fc and ewreh efymls lyearl i oaubt am elik tfureu myumm ryt i i ot the os ot ludwo. Enck my ky iersiiotrp iun the nad *** tub rgtnyi ot cnoetnt by sha ym ie’v ebne eebn adn arlngein gicnikk rbga hte hlod. Dstyu of stel’ gbi adn won ays st’i ht18 owt at tsuj thidbayr of lci esiotiridrp i dan ayds risk on iklnoog refoeb inestad ohster im’ mfsyle ym my. Swallo aveh iidven ofr ecgar nda i yb sak to htis lla its llayer one lsalah brityahd pwore as ntgih ubt he em my. So het l ecpsa stih ti’s gi os soen sa ti ki tiedr a olas tysstil liek i rof lovde raneoht nac goonlik mn,a slup it 42hsr gte a i ym ,eary to eosnepsr reedvvi hmgti to 🌚 ktea whti vngigi ehv’nta eb ’vie ybus me haev efer pyaph + pdiengsn stat’h keil tub but im’. .

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