A letter from Apr 15, 2024

Dear FutureMe, It been 2 months and I know the last 4 months have been most definitely rough but I need you lock In your life haven't been the best by that I mean it been really miserable but you need to take alot of the blame and be responsible, is it truly over now? you may ask but truth to be told it's only over if you truly give. Look nothing went as you dreamed it to be sadly. I have been stuck for the same stage for 8 months now..... 8 months and hopefully when my message come across you are not in the same stage. I lost my friends and my ambitions for basically anything everything that I wanted didn't happen and now I feel like the cycle keeps repeating every single day ...... I really wish I could have achieved everything I wanted and not waste time and now that I been given a second opportunity and had atleast a year to finally accomplish something in my life I once wasted it. Am I cooked? Probably but the reason for that is because of my own being. Didn't knew a person could make so many mistakes in life. But if I never change I will never change, and now I'm scared for the future my glimpse of hope has vanished, but as my really closed friend once said hope won't get you no where without displine, sadly I know this to be true but I ain't either displine or consistent and then I complain why everything against me, I'm the problem and also the solution I have to lock in and push further, my goals that I have won't exactly come true but atleast I have to do something to change my life. I felt like I could have done the impossible and accomplish everything but I never did and now I have to realize that even if I think that I work hard for it I really didn't or match my potential I wasted a year and I'm sadly still depressed I wish I could go to the past and work harder but I can't, but I can work hard now and make sure that my future will turned out better. By the time I received this school will be over and probably be lost but I may go to Farmingdale after I graduate but Idk what to pursue. I'm lost and by now should have achieved my dream life, I wanted to be like my friend and thought if I followed his footsteps even though I rarely try i could have probably achieved it, I don't know why I'm ranting but it because I very disappointed with mu self and hoe my life turnout, I can't really cope anymore because if I do I waste time, if I could achieve some of the goals that I could have accomplished by the time this message arrives I would be very proud and happy but I wasted all my time to accomplish something and now my life is falling apart, but I can always try and today onwards by the day this message reach me and onwards I will try my best and hardest to achieve something. Funny enough my friend used to say I had alot of potential I really wished this was true but to his disappointment I didn't and now I feel like a big failure and lost prolly the closest friend even though by the years he started feeling a little fake if I probably achieved the things that I promised he probably wouldn't be so distant. But not like it matters now the only thing that should matter to me is the grind and work, I remember that I used to believe if I worked really hard I could accomplish my said goals and even what I thought was impossible, I wonder if I could still do this and hopefully by this time finally be proud of myself for once. So work hard extremely hard outwork everyone and promise yourself to keep going because your life truly depends on it please 🙏 hopefully by this time even if it very short you have amazing things to tell me, like I said work hard, focus on your goals for the future, makes plan to achieve the work, work hard, and accomplish your dreams one day I will finally be happy I hope. Focus on God and get closer, get rid of bad habits, self improve, improve yourself through mentality, self image, glowing up, getting lean and ripped and strong, and make yourself proud even if you fail never stay down keep getting up and keep improving good luck future me I'll will work hard so that once this message reaches I'll finally be proud and work harder. By, Past me