A letter from Mar 21, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Mar 21, ‘24 Im contemplating whether to send this to you a year from today or 6 months from now, and im wondering if the larger gap in time will make a better difference… I just received a letter from our past… she was struggling, destitute, brain fogged, she had no hope for herself so she placed in it us. It seems we have more to say when we are defeated, our thoughts overwhelm that we cannot harbour them for the sake of sanity. I do not wish to burden you further, however i also do not want to be burdened. I find myself in an odd state - an “in-between”, if you will. I can feel change in the air, but its also just still, just barely out of reach. My hopes of the past are with me. I know for certain they will come to fruition. I know you know what our goal is, so tell me what its like once we get there. As for the things i want to do… i worry about my possessions and belongings. They are proof of life; my kpop posters, my photo cards, my post it notes and old design references, they’re all proof of life, same goes for the knick knacks i collect. What do i do when i no longer need them? Im excited to start over again though, to begin from the ground up and start all over again, to make new memories. I cannot do that if i bring the past with me. My ideals as they are now, are as follows: 1. I need to be away from here, from this place, from this home, and away from these people. I cannot tolerate her any longer, and once i leave i do not want to come back. 2. My pursuit of stability is a long term endeavour. You do not need to make any permanent decisions in this exact moment. If you are paying for it, you do not need to rush the process. 3. I do better when i am away from home, and i can make home wherever i go. I dont need nor want to drag my old baggage, i know ill be fine Progress forward is progress made, dont give up. We’ll be fine. -P