A letter from Dec 24, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I really hope we're doing well, I just blocked Dennis again for like the 100th time, I wish we could fully keep him out of our lives, and if future me is talking to him. stop it. He's not worth it. He will make you feel like **** even if he'll say "you were treating me ****** more", like, ok? then dont talk to me either. It's the night before christmas right now, and I just hope, everything can go smoothly. School is weird, but I'm getting through it, I just have to learn to be alone. I have always been alone but I need to teach myself to be ok with being lonely. I hope we can find someone nice in the future who does not make us feel like **** constantly. Someone who knows you but doesnt use it against you. Someone who doesn't just walk all over you because you wont do anything. But most importantly, I hope i can find confidence. I've been letting **** that people say about me get to my head. "you're too fat for me" or "You're so weird", I can logically know that it's just nonsense but it still hurts. It hurts to be in a world where its funny to make fun or fat trans people. It hurts. So i really hope, the next person who comes by, can respect me, for me. Not see me for nostalgia, or as a product thats advertising or as a fling that'll come over whenever its convenient. I want to start having more respect for myself. I just dont know how. I love you. Even if i'm scared of the future, I love you.