A letter from December 6th, 2023

Dear FutureMe,
hello. It's been a while since I wrote one of those. 
This year has been.. awfully different. First a crush. A Crush. It's my first time having a crush and it's sooo weird. Next is the fact that people sat school are actually decent. 
and the fact that despite all of this. I still feel empty. like i could never recover. like i will aways be left out. like the fact that i have a crush doesn't change the fact that i don't feel. that marwa having the same crush as me is nothing important. Like I was born to always be 2nd. to always be there. I feel like I'm just meaninglessly typing now. but i just feel so empty i can't even describe it. i just finshed my book today, one of us is lying. i feel like i can't share my feelings to anyone. i hate my life .