A letter from Sep 05, 2023

Time Travelled — almost 1 year

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave the work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2023 reply Awwwww i cannot beleive that first letter was only 2 years ago - from 16 to 18 feels like such a jump. omg yeah im an adult now ahjkjglgjldjfldf yeah about that whole being a mess thing - defo still true lol, i had a massive breakdown last night and i still find it really hard just dealing with my emotions, but guess who's got therapy now? ta-da!! even if i dont really think its working and dont really like my therapist - i'm going to have to find the courage to talk to mum about switching but thats for another day. yeah still never dated, still never kissed anyone - **** ollie for messing up my life tbh - oh yeah i've started opening up to a couple of people more about what happened, still havent talked to mum though :( who needs dating when i can shamelessly flirt with charlotte whilst watching good omens, awww supernatural still bringing that nostaglia though - more stuff about the spanish dub came out recently haha - chaos i love it oh yeah i got tumblr again - honestly loving it, feels nostalgic and warm and safe <3 my new fandom of choice is f1 at the moment - i really hope this doesn't die away like so many of my other loves - something about it i really love the excitement - the longevity of any of my passions is always in doubt. theres like extra pressure this time because I've dragged mum and iris into my thing now. also i need to stop irresponsibly spending all my money on f1 hats from vinted. haha oh the gap year - well its here! but my god 17 y o poppy was snobby and thought she knew everything haha. getting a job is wayyyyyyy harder than it looks trust me - im scouring indeed literally every day i've applied to a whole bunch of jobs and got one interview (in 2 days ahhhhhhh) - i mean they want to pay me a criminally (literally) low wage but hey ho - money's money right. oh yeah, 2 years ago i was starting my a levels, 1 year ago i was getting close - omg ITS OVER BABES YOU DID IT!!!!! A*AA BESTIE!!!!! WITH AN A* IN THE EPQ. so smart, so hardworking no one can take that away from you. ew dont even start on doctor who - thanks to another guy named olly (i think i'm cursed to be screwed over by that name) i cant be doing with that for a bit. yeah iced coffee still does it for me :) its hard with all my friends moving away to uni, i kind of dont want to let them go but also im ready to get into the flow of working and finding out what hobbies i want on the side - kind of wanted to learn bookbinding so i can have physical copies of my fave fanfics (omg FG though - you should so re-read that fic its so **** good) hope you're still as awkwrard and wierd and awesome this time next year - love ya! PS omg reread the hunger games dude - id forgotten literally just how good it is - i know this sounds dumb but like its still so much fun to read even as an adult ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- bring on 2024

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Lhoy ifle usjt **** horgtuh nbee niu paylbobr llaairdtcsy erve hte gitbseg elki ,encgha cghaen i'ev my enteri wlli. Nda wtisst ist onutam em of arycz how htta no epkes lowdr hcmu lpto eth tu,rngni juts isnane hte ot rccou. I a ewf lusdho ot ko i uqoisstne leef nedrsop ekli.
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As ym tsutr lalery in yuo yuor ni reew snoo ti guhhrot es,fl ti ngaiwollw hewol ol,ev ogign tcaf so otsp i odl fyoesulr trtsas rigl b,etret nda tges it iton eifl trhwo uoy o,yrsr simrey me sa tdeexn to all ryea im ryitfsl, 61 ym heanpp tjus to uyo. Ecpeseerinx sutrt i hvea yuo nooclu as aehv im pu dna osno rfo yawa tpdsiu bgeni enes rtsta ldwuo as rlcooe aldieser uyo adronu si else ,yuo aref oyreenev ustj to sa sa yeshd nad sllyi wya npeo i me mfro athn and tath you fo ihntk as. Namhoolr csmoe tmie sbedeoss ouyr erewh otratpmin worg pndaex dan vrye ricecls at eth a(ak kcba eosd teh reom hits szoniohr clreeft a,hihrryec omre also ghih o)oclhs nad aer pu is not 16 uoy sjtu uoy illst the leif blubbe ryi,ttamu htwi dna and iwht rliesae ityn aler oautppiryl opelep. .
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/w oyu a on(t henacg )haah ym but bti roawdts taht dna hits im solnjmriau tlo otu a im **** sola niaga etelrt ni aery ernev be lhowe deeegr dan i ieergrtngt txen adn hyhigl thorsyi to kown lal slaciscs mhgit ufreig riastngt 'iev 'lilt to ym ym - eitm checio twceisdh mnimictunaoco edaim suer nnaglie sa im.
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Ton rewe' hbnied - sbyo igsi,nsk ot haye obr tpeytr tlsil ,ntdagi eil onigg. Dseo to ated grow dihcl a yrt bgnie a ikyse iirsnypgusuln ojb proo dna as nhwe aeyh you os pu etyprt sad'. Even ,now a lislt mhcu ti btu inhtg liwd igkman ouy woh bad eslruoisy kabc i ti jesko syorr know is si odslh. A the tub mi eb adh sewn airdaf hpayp i i taht a 2052 ynodbe aveh oiaisnhlptre nad ruoe'y baeslt auedpt oll tyrphea to ni rdkoew nad ro ertbte wsih atth itmgh. Duonar letl yuo did did to too of mi awht rfo way mum ouy, aobut reusp logn you sretec hatt so bene ey'uov ryrgican he rduop <3.
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Lilw a oitislpraehn my hdnisiim seinmrgsbea ermo ohugth yubs ofr to rsue in sa ifel wiht adn my the uyo rneuaplsutra mlrbtu even eareetgn hseaps tog reom wkon k!o!! f1 a uodssepp eu'yvo niot yheetr' mi a yoeu'r gcyinr obtau im eos,anr wo,n i s'ti yppah lslit ,it rmoe spta hucm ko lsilt dan apessh vrey gte i etterb uceninelf oarktbhcw oelv hastt eb your but fo ym. .
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Tno girlei ko itsh onggi ibeleve ot ruoey'. . . . Yuo oects no the aepcl tath lla yeah hemt from, teird ksoct ouy rokw eefo'csf eht hlsvsee riylltlea baseb v'uoey at. . . . Twits haha lpot. Eshslve a to o rzcya my e,ra vere be 91 id' mi that htta ehay w'lle evi' gisokcnt doluw muhc eirdencdso gdo bjo 16 awth em teh rtetle!! c,ry ni sotec sa os hree utb oatub ehav ltseyohn rfsti but eonimnt we at ew y ndgio aretl) oton gte cstoe htnik 'otdn loedv ta had o(h i.
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And renta' oury mrgaiyain rwide your sa neev uyo meta enitesr,st ildongh twiginr knhti wrdsol you cuhm sa kcba me nidrgae utrts. Was oyu tign,h euval ddo emad aws in fuynn adn nidk ttha it ta lekealwbodneg gsum 17 hmuc venesitsi dna and tsi i em a'tns,w dan and hicwh edsasmu bda nad so 18 all etesh loeepp dna etovime it and dan wrdie ouy taps a tgshin. .
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No, a rtuts 16 aws na ofr tiayerl own lneamt tebrte keep ouy uot saw in e'oruy nwo em, htaw out you bit ewhre geeetna ispxeereenc snmiigs tsohe otslma orlsyfue arel yuo hnkti oury i idk ehtre at wolrd nvgiah age ta can ,tou it resfa althe,h erew isemds thta. .
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Hpoe uo,y eginefl me atnh and bterte em, invlgi aer ruetuf "i.
Hawt mtreta on i veol oyu. A athw " icetu. Ko me tsrut dybdu re'we diogn.
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Pyppo ooooooohlole rhad tup wtih oyu o eersotand i you oyu uyo dogo rdhie o twha uryo wree grli w,ork acft pseur tesho adn 71 dogo eewr ni aaehd a yruo puord aotbu tsiem y ucsh eellsv ssay efel os all wree noetysh,l of samex ecsot kenw leki aimnzga ndeo ibgivn hairkten em your ni orf etfrof egnbi ewnh snpihgu y eohc ,ghothru hes in ouy i utsj 18 a,sdte ewll. .
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Htree ti hnigt last os btu iran, giigtnnlh "ahtt - trghi dan pinreecngxei os arhd doanmr im ow!n! o"s heya was eilkd ucmh rebeseptm ----- ti ianedr i.
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Inu sllit drffao nad yahe nca fi icde ta luce aecf memi ttha ont elatt ecofef gogin a i ti ohugth ipr tnosrg, gril em.
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- to lollllll i raye its ni eshs i)s i ruo orysr etnrehcs tkhin neamtl tond em pspo how ckba firgeal jkoe 81 teh im( elhtha dol yfunn mena sjut.
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Nietlfaedy thyreap het teg my oeaofrpsnlis tup fltaoa tsirf wsa lal eahy bjo eend nthu ofretf elevl 3 to plhe didtn gnoig dogo arecsfu hwne ngtih nui emos ouy cuhm it hadr btu elhp astht looc me onmhts at nad ifngdin oto ocol to a so it i aws het ni nhwe uero'y kpte uto to.
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Taht tno rof trhoguh went nwko mmu shi,t bahl lardaye otdn peek knthi lagnkit het eesms intyrg aeyh obj bhal nwoooh,oaoooy albh it to uoabt ewll i ot ot nad so ew dneo idngo i eb.
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Tlnigrfi a ithw ho oevr ho byo etlcatrho godo os lto ybo ddbuy ot ukpcna shetre m,enos byo ko oh erhe. Whne me tokkist tswit eshto 30"22 ltpo onmtem 2024 ebelvei dowultn uoy tobua" leik is thsi ahtt eth reh ees gtlneli me of is eht. Ftahom acert uldow owh srory rgil i ayllterli connat troys tish ot yuo. Iths olyl woh nislk olas ortcod ot. .
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Clilaabys and ehs elkid it eb yhea cna th,aw sihsfle thye hse uyo ??e?gt??teo?r?h?? tohhgu wsa enkw aegdh,sg mog 'uyero ti syaanwy dna yieks did i even os loduw imh reh heay you hety ekli em,t so lepst deriw llet todl utsj os. Hes mroe i ywynsaa to ton eh yb oden adn eeys gdoo maetn ttha fcta rwong nvere posolgdeai so ????aesy was ouy sa ioctasn uyor leshfsi a adhr noti dpoeen of eryall ti erh odtl ehss islalbcay rtos eht it ntod saw go 'eshs hatt eess rdienf or dan rhe nawan ss'he seh eesuacb taht utb as eescbau. . . . Gte for yrdea tshi. . . Nda kjoe nostiiaut a elhwo uy,g ylol hse a me i bf uhmc ti ehnw treho het sah aubot tnidd wdeserc just tjus gte pu ehs deam not ??on??w mhi how msoe. Pu edtarst velesl ,pu eedmss i em nmea uoilysres edmess i em klie ti of monkisg. I inddt me em oryrs ((((: komes ot mi laryel want uyo eoygnur kwno **** ppsaehn.
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Why hyea ojb i dr,ah ntswa' tbu olsa otg a wtundol elshotyn em ckyul iggntet enrosp twan ufidlaeiq gdoo htye a im atht rylllaeit. Suysielor the ihst ym oeg no si icnnefelu (aka ehedpl of me anagi) lfse htsi mac esetme yese estra poos ugy dna ym eiprmov ni my.
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Lwil dfssiihnerp, lluyatac eifsndr cmitpa eth diftr and ahtt lto ot ****** aer ttlile atmne lwli the onvmgi eht wlli rht,u ot )cte revy (kaa emnat me ,lsiuoe to onse ehav niu tsrut ouyr ,thaatrlco on tysa nose yruo. Ywa a 'yolul icpk lo'uyl nloga enve ruoy eth poeepl ontsa dna in siltl miymj a wthi kaa ttenggi r/ayugbrec lto nda rindsfe wen wnto up m(akr llaaebne end pu e)limh salo fwe orslec.
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Dorlw hte ssel go hte ehsret will tnaenrnem,etti on orme a rfo mi efli a rowry uoy cnofiatinf enecalb uyo eth tub ndto lsyawa hlyheta will out nfa rues fo hetre trpa yrel your big you be.
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Eikl lynlfai ehom ym iev nphpdaee ,em fmro kewse up dcnead 3 rfei,snd ot pu irnefds alts wyaa learny eth ym 2 si ta with ,off sugy ausmrym itwh ienttrdees tog neod a in ,eewd dit,rpea idnrve ,pub sah i hte unodar ntikh yrsssssessa sturt in de,kosm cipnikg guy,s i ermo em taht eavh is tnah eifl het em lstep etanbe mdae ni l,ot ears. Teh wlil ntyihevegr at gihlagnu iltlet heerw erus btu whti mmeton i hsit lsefmy gnigo dutob mi otdn ofr at i'm sdeo how "ho cnheag tmei okn"w iun otctenn eb arey 'lil im txne seh. My a to how ta rof i kgamni you and eolppe atsht at and rosia)ntleai evah dolwr tjsu me eovl iitpgfresn me mac ttha ahtnk( rcy eartknhi. Lehopyufl :) ignog hatt enhgac lla lesape and ubt crsya teh tis bttere ot orf si.

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