A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Uoy. Rty ym i dtd'ni tbes. Ddnit' even i try. Utb negiavl atwn ot'dn i evael ot i'm walasy ,ouy. Hewn eedn i tsmo avlee uoy em hte. To i gaian levae cechan rty a vgeis me wehn ilef. Adn i gretre valee. Jtus woh td'on i can oyu konw roe,ynma ot t'ond i i psot tbu eleva twan.
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Eb tmeerxe h,rda lgaos lsmla rokw and eih inktingh or anrna obatu i'ev gib rednlea tbu tinkh dolhus bgi igothn,n my i ahtt ehcasgn ot. Rlnidga c,ahnges giohnnt. Veale hell aefr vnere mya i i tihs. Iendsi i flee me it. Eres'th tspo a inlgoof gtnelil em leysmf me cvieo just ot sendii. One ryeall gwor msall, rhad, atph ntwas mlasl ohw the olng and im' si too ot dan a. Rmeo it ,rteetb i urtly eih mese mniainta to nrn,aa ntca' anwt ofr ubt be to i 2 tnah asyd.
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Fo lief, fo syare my iwrnen 8 i now hte m'i eth and nrgnuni orf asw sneodc uot. If d'tno ays taht i.
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Im' so yrsor. Dsne wtan is ot oyu hte ton i wrsane ot hist. Nyam ltel kngati htat you aoyk i can i 'im ohep im' adn odawrst oyu estsp. I adn acsubee gebni as niggo for nda 'mi shludo ot tsimaboiu uertfu gteohrte iterh do nlgero a demra ot witre yeerv litetl ophe htta cleos uoy rou nopers lesf em tnurcy,o yuo i hwti itwa.
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Eesevdr uroy a oyu nnara, to etrbte eih eb fo m,e old elsf ernisov. ,uyo preosn i i be ilwl tshi eroimsp. Be tnah i i llwi i iwll ra,dh ahtt eylsmf ac,n rpnseo and spuh rty arrhde. I pu teh mtei oyu stal 'tsi evig on. Espke for teomtpevcii aetks ewsta or hrad sdeotn' tpsoirntpi,oeu esderev nda adn astek hnaellcge emit nda ,pu an atht lod rnvee fs,el esfl nseih nchcae lilw atht eeryv i edn nistgh dose useeacb you dlo usmbtoiai oggni vngiig het and a eth ouy lntui. Of oen lefs anc oryu me on be eaidstn dol. Cna, i ttha kwon can woh it hte easeucb lwli 'mi adn od one i i oyln. Neeb utsj layz i've. Eb ear i you illw werhe. Nca me rtust ouy. You onwd let eervn again wlli i.
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Mn,nrteeioitda seoiopalg afttrhele dan iwht.
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Imatssib.

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