A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Oyu. Dd'tin my i rty bets. Tyr i enev tid'nd. Agevnil aelev yaswla odn't utb i to o,yu i'm tnwa. Ouy teh ehwn ened em avele i mtos. Em i aeelv a aiang caecnh yrt ot lfie gsvei hwne. Trreeg i adn veael. Btu anwt tsju ot i ouy n'otd wnko tspo nac m,rneoay leave 'tnod i who i.
.
Nldeare that ulsodh ehi ubt ,arhd igb e'vi raann hi,ngnot extreem ngeashc lsmla ot rkow ro eb bgi butoa my nikitnhg i hntki asogl nda. Gdiranl scnhgae, nitngoh. Itsh i i eenrv afre yam llhe aevle. Niesdi leef i em ti. Iendis oflonig oicev em me tlgnile just ot lymefs a spto sthee'r. Elylra rahd, and athp is adn how gnol lsl,ma worg nswta lmsal het oen i'm ot too a. I tub nhta iannamti ot to 2 i syda emse tluyr ieh r,tbtee ofr twna arnna, ti eb tacn' orme.
.
Adn ysera of fo hte fe,il inugnnr i my tou rof condse eth now swa 8 m'i einnrw. Fi thta i o'ntd ysa.
.
Mi' oysrr so. Is ot nawt to htis the i nto yuo nsde rwesna. Ltel nca you wrtaosd and mi' taking aoky mnya tessp ouy i htat hpoe i 'mi. Enibg oyu cruto,ny etwri ohep nreglo to tiwh i nad a rufute taiw etteohrg me 'im do vreye tlietl dna yuo hatt ecosl cabeseu orf ngogi fesl sa rou i to iehrt esrnpo hdsoul toiabumis ermad.
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Lod ot hei be dereevs ryuo oyu ann,ra neiosrv em, fo lfse a etrteb. Ospimre be ,oyu isth i wlli senpro i. Lilw nresop eb ilwl and rrahed hant i i try yflsem taht i ,nac hrda, phus. Uoy mtie eth ltas veig i'st up on i. Evreeds skate tluin etmi i estaw you rdah niiggv or adn ahtt lod deo'snt lod atth fse,l eenghallc na dsoe end neevr ,pu tmibusaio the eervy kespe sfel uoy lilw dna teh ggino dna hencac igsnth adn a ovpmeiicett ofr cbueeas ektas uptopr,eniosti hseni. Lsef nac rouy em no fo eb dol isednta oen. It od i cna loyn i 'mi that cn,a ownk who het nda llwi neo i ubceeas. Yazl utjs ve'i enbe. I yuo be lwil rae erweh. Me usrtt uyo can. Gaain odnw liwl vnree tle i ouy.
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Eliogsoap neoideinatrt,m with eahlfetrt dna.
.
Bitassmi.

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