A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Ouy. I ym ti'dnd rty esbt. D'itnd i ytr eevn. Wtan u,oy m'i 'tndo slyaaw to aeevl i btu gnlveai. Oyu hwne i em ened omts the aveel. To lief wenh geivs em yrt ngaai hancce i eaelv a. I velae nad retger. I ujts ealev ot hwo tub wonk odn't yon,rema can i watn t'odn i tspo uyo.
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Uhdosl anarn i or shcgena samll to kntih ym tgnni,ho big lsgao tub xmteere taht rda,h be uobta wkro ibg edenlar eih ngiiknht adn vie'. Nhonitg ,scaegnh nalgird. Evlae i i erfa rneve lelh aym tshi. It feel nisdie me i. Ndiies a glletin me me oolnifg opts h'esetr ujst iovec syeflm ot. Too how 'mi raeyll si glon gwro adn noe llsam ot r,dha taph sntaw slaml, het a dna. Rof ti nt'ac moer naran, nath awnt smee i eb aniaitmn 2 i ieh ysda ,eerbtt ot utb tlury to.
.
Seyar nnunigr docnes uot 8 fo eht eth nwerin aws l,fei nda ym of rof mi' nwo i. Taht if asy i nt'od.
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So 'mi ysorr. To is nawt eth tshi yuo sden i to nto snwaer. Tsesp 'im i ouy i roswdat myan nda ttah uoy tlel ayko can m'i ngaikt pohe. Locse i ropnes ot nda teurfu tath uamiistbo ttlile teoerthg ot i ouy ruo sldohu ofr as iwta lfes lenorg nogig eitwr od a wiht trycno,u ebcaues m'i me nad ehop yreev remda uyo ehrit giebn.
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Fo a be ,narna fles ruoy ot oseinvr dlo uyo hie tbteer ,me ervseed. I penosr ropmise illw hsti o,uy eb i. Be i i ryt nath uhsp i rdah, wlli cna, meflsy ttah llwi rdahre epnors dan. Tiem ti's you ltas no igve eth pu i. Bcseuae eth den sktae gneeclhal iultn efsl tath nad ggion a htat teasw sngiht itobmusia runiposetp,ito dna for old mtveopetiic reevn i ouy dsveeer teh nad eevry item les,f atsek inshe niggvi lod eeksp dstn'oe ,up or oesd dhar wlil uoy and cecanh na. On be fesl acn lod fo me isdtane oryu eon. Hte im' ohw od i oyln ti sauebec oen n,ac i that i adn wlli nac okwn. Zaly ebne stju e'vi. Rewhe you rae wlli i be. Anc uoy me strtu. Ouy enrve tel nodw iwll aaign i.
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Ihtw lahtefert psaeoiolg and tniedm,aneoirt.
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Aisstbmi.

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