A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Uoy. N'tidd yrt tsbe my i. Ntid'd tyr veen i. O'dnt i nwta im' naivlge tbu ot avlee y,uo asawyl. I stmo enwh laeev hte em deen uyo. Leeav a siveg i ytr when to em ehcanc lefi ianag. Leave dna geertr i. Owh dnot' cna psot wtna veela jsut onkw i i to oyu ubt royame,n ndot' i.
.
Adn tbu to nnara sogal hie kntih rhad, i ive' extmeer slalm ym or gbi ashegcn ninkthgi eb ahtt tino,hgn sduhlo nleedar gib oubat okwr. Acehgn,s nnghoit nalgidr. Lehl velae efra i ernev hist yam i. Idnsie it em elef i. Gillent em to a seerht' tsuj ostp vecio mseyfl isdine fionolg me. Ot a,llsm is owrg and oen ohw olng oot ahpt a dan 'im ah,rd llyare mllsa teh twsna. Urtyl rmoe it ,ttbree be n,raan to i ihe i ninmatia mese fro nat'c ydas hnta to want btu 2.
.
Fo i cnsoed ewnnir sryea nwo nrngnui fo 8 f,lei het asw eht nda ofr mi' my uot. That i ysa if odt'n.
.
So mi' rysor. Eht tawn si edsn tshi to i otn nreasw uoy ot. Letl mnya im' i ehpo nca i okya atth 'im dna dtsoawr uoy psste oyu akgnti. Eohp eegthrto liltet taht you duohls olrgen efturu im' nda yever ceslo neigb i taiw ofr edamr em i ucbeesa do lesf thrie nad gngoi ot tronyc,u ouy smtibiaou as htwi wiert ot a oru prneos.
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Eervesd uyo inovrse uyro sfle rteebt of a ,nrnaa lod be e,m ehi ot. Penrso be i oy,u i smriope liwl htis. I ytr lwil i dr,ha eonprs nad nac, i thna suph that be mflyse wlli redhra. Hte is't stla eivg on time i uoy pu. Yuo ro n,strtpoipueoi gnivgi het edos aeelnhgcl eatsk eresved dna lwil pu, old that ihsgtn ofr btmiusaio sondt'e snieh dol i nda evyre meicpoevtti atth ulitn nrvee lsfe an dne ecahnc teswa ekpes lfse, a nda dna eimt uyo eksat teh cusbeea nogig ahdr. Iatedns oury fles eb can odl me eno fo on. ,anc od and i anc ceaebsu kown ttah 'mi owh i it eht lyon i neo lwli. 'iev yazl ustj enbe. Be ouy lwil i aer ehrwe. Oyu nca tusrt me. Let uyo i illw aigan nowd envre.
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Rfhteeatl dan elpoogasi tiwh eiadtineo,mtnr.
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Siisamtb.

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