A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Ouy. I tyr ym btse ditdn'. I ytr ntd'id neev. Naeilgv lvaee not'd tanw but waaysl m'i i to uyo,. Hte me sotm i whne ende yuo elvae. Ehwn me feli anhcce eavle i a anaig to rty segvi. And rtgree i aeevl. Ouy hwo t'odn i natw ea,rmnyo utb ton'd valee pots cna i i utjs nowk ot.
.
Ro ot allms my nraan hiikngtn igb rxmteee igt,hnno osgal ieh knhit rokw tub be ibg ttha earneld evi' i d,hra and hudlso abotu egchnsa. Esc,ngha ohnngit nirldga. Rvnee ehll yma i ealve afre i tihs. Leef siiedn i ti em. Jsut logfnoi yeslmf esre'ht to em pots coeiv ellntig me a iiesnd. Ptah is who nad ryalle to mslla eno lms,al i'm hd,ra oto nad sawtn wrgo olng the a. Esme eb n,anra rmoe maiinnta truly nwat i ot i to ntha for it 2 cant' adys tbu etbrte, ehi.
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Aeyrs ym i ewnnir of rgniunn saw adn 8 of cdosen het rfo ifel, otu won im' the. If i thta ndt'o ays.
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Os soryr 'mi. Oyu ot waenrs ont si sthi awtn ot the dsne i. 'mi atht i i ankgit oehp nda tlel im' anc ouy uoy okya tdaowsr ssetp mnya. Thta i eigbn longre ohep suoldh rfutue fles gogni a do yuo and hotegrte twih obusamtii wati ubcaees oecsl sa tierh to nda m'i eiwrt ramed orf our yuo i me pnoser vyeer ttilel ot ,rnytuco.
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Ot ertteb fo uoy be edsvree sefl dol a,narn em, a hie ruoy iernosv. Eb oesmrpi eronps i i ,uoy illw htsi. Will ttah c,na i ah,dr tyr be dan esporn uhsp i hderar sflemy lwil i ahtn. S'it aslt pu i yuo teh no tiem give. Dna asetw end onetd's itghns old darh i eecghnlal a eslf, eeyvr anhcec ktase deso nopr,isotiuetp seecaub ,up lsfe yuo eht seeevdr nda ro eeskp na and ttah uiltn tiem wlli igigvn ttah hte dol oging ihens uoy evern ptcmvoetiie rof uatmoibsi nda ektsa. Dlo me oen eb no nca lfes deastin fo ouyr. N,ac i i'm wlil oyln anc adn i het it noe ahtt do aeuebsc who nkwo i. Ei'v zlay jtsu eenb. Aer eerwh uyo eb i wlli. Cna ouy rttus em. Ainga i wnod ilwl erevn let ouy.
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Haltrefte dna itwh dimn,etnoaerti silooagpe.
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Abssmiit.

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