Merry fuckin' Xmas

Dear FutureMe, I hope this Christmas is better than all the ones you have had since you went crazy. That is, I hope this is the first good Christmas in six years of shitty ones. I hope you get some money, or maybe even a nice comfy duvet for your house that you SHOULD BE LIVING IN WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND BY NOW. If you ruined that... I apologise. But I still hope you get a nice puffy duvet. I hope mum is nice to you and I hope there isn't a family dinner for the siblings to take as an opportunity to pick on you. If there is I suggest you disappear without notice because you and I both know it will only end up making you feel crap. Like last Christmas. And the one before that. Etc etc etc etc right back until you were a pubescent blank slate. Whatever you do, don't go to K-Fry. Because K-Fry on Christmas day is surely the beginning of the slow, painful end. Have a good Christmas night. Say goodbye to 2006 in a smashing way on New Year's Eve. Get horribly drunk and take some uppers. Make a fool of yourself. Hug strangers and throw rocks at passing police cars. Hump your friends on the corner of the street. Eat greasy drunk food. Sleep. Give Briar a kiss for me. If she's not around, cut yourself like an angsty little emo kid for me. You know you want to ;) Love always, Your depressingly cynical, bitter and twisted 18 year old self.