A letter from Mar 29, 2023

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, hi! this is 21 year old you. firstly i hope you’re doing well. right now it is 12:14am and i just watched a tiktok about writing a future letter. today i finally turned in my resignation letter! of course the boss called and spewed a bunch of bs to make me stay but im feeling mostly relieved that im almost out of there and onto a new chapter in life. you know ur girl is in her broke ***** era but im gonna make it work. this is the first time since i was a teenager that im not going to have a full time job and im sure you will remember how useless and lowkey stressed im feeling right now. what job did you end up getting? did you get to take swimming classes? how was starting acupuncture school? how is esther doing? im like 99.99% sure ur little sister is still the center of your life because you love her so much. i hope ur in ur hot girl era right now. im making a guess that our hair is finally long again and that makes me happy. you better not have gotten an undercut again for the third time, because you know growing that out will be a DISASTER. hey. u better go on vacation this year. or if you’re really too busy it better be soon. stop treating yourself like ****. remember u said xcaret. if not at least some tropical place please. how are mom and dad? im hoping ur at least smart enough to read pulse and help mom do some cupping now, or else im sure you’ll feel like a useless piece of ****. as much as i hate to admit it i think by today you probably have almost completely forgiven mom and dad. and i think that’s good. I don’t blame them for any trauma, i just hope we’re strong enough to take care of them now. did u get a girlfriend at all? although im currently opposing the idea of a relationship i know that you still wish for someone to connect and care for you. i hope that there’s someone to tolerate your situation and love you for who you are. im pretty sure you’re still unable to come out, but it’s okay. I’m sure we’re getting there soon. don’t get brainwashed back to homophobia christianity gurl. I’d hate you for it if u do. buy a bottle of soju and cheers yourself today! us making it through is worth celebrating. i love you so much and i look forward to the you im becoming. 🤍

Epilogue

about 21 hours later

hey 21 year old me,

funny thing is i completely forgot this letter existed. i know there's another one i wrote a while ago though, that one seems to stick...

Dmni my no. Setg i iemt yb mayeb mrrembee 'onwt it ledierevd the. .
.
Northea endde eayrs gngio ew kdewro i 2 to hte and pu at, kbac ehlto ehret etdsya for. A ot ortws utleabos qitu my rowkgni dna eifl cefif,o is ehnt nsitedt pso na ssitndet' i dovme tsih fo eno ,twb ta emti atth. Otn trednitsy ta moes unneegi met teh in denptoi gthri ceonirtid em i dan oelppe tub to erally do - ti setal. .
.
V'ei goind eorm rduop eneb and ervne egtar heerts is. Teh ni veyer fo us be seh etebtr onisvre meess to awy. Of n,wo dfernsi otsl is seh grate at suc eamd a adn. Has osla bjo ,reh levo erokrocsw ereht and aedm rewhe rhe rapt a emti feidsrn seh all tltile. Nad ryve s'hse twhi elstl namgeii ouy ,feli ntwa nnotetc hwchi ot aesmk me em hse htta cna ryc hppay. .
.
Evyr arih my lfnliya a tlulcaya lnog ym spat nlog tis' aian,g si satiw tlltie. I ohw bad htta wnigorg tou was it nurudect eemebrmr. Niaag eevnr. Airh ym mintptge i me entcerly ont i,agan dton' glthi beul d'you to ckstu ttha vei' ynigd ti to nda arhe si heop idk up godin eb dlga tbu den eyarll. Im bzzu obefer aveh oylo h?girt i nad eiixp ot ,30 uct go nlpas.
.
Actunupuecr mtressees oshlco dndit' 2 atsl spat. Otwithu tath job iceuystr 'ontw apresnt csssatalem work odrcmpea on for 50k lal yblaiscal zlrediae i no itwh anygip any ot won nciscli my hwti pourstp ym layerda adn. Ard orgspram nda eresprq to anldte eiegynh ym cc adn orf went tech ckba otg a i nedo. Aectdepc orf that rhae u'doy to adh jstu i be a ni njue nda gdal getnto ratst morrapg. Is rt?ghi gongi keil gihrt ylnifal het ni smees oniietdcr efil it. .
.
Dan yillfan i tehm i ddi ldernea imws !ecsslas koto yaer how tkae swgnimmi lsat to. Ni og naanw i moer bkac ealrn etruuf nad the. Y,aer ycvaa ofr oieaddgsn isth dha cpeaicartn pndnlae utjs rtceax htwi tgo now, tub to ot carcen on go dad i akcb hcnia rfo. Fro ngsroseipc hte im' ltils noe tnmoesoi htta. Nacivoat iths so aeyr on. .
.
You evorfgin i eeltpolmcy ont'd nnyfu 'iev yas, taht no kinth. Knhit otdn' tsju eedipst i ead,ers be nca murata eht mite. 3 moes to areln teh ptas thwnii yeras eb odu'y nsasticne rrfoheidi. It wnko wldou duclo ayn in arsetnp tell tlpyomleec and uoy is i it utb uct loenni owh 'sit em ot my stop ym fo fof, hgitr opplee. Eatk ikcs eret'sh pesblsoi mmo fo ot urueft wno rhwee cear a,iang veah i sdad' vyre a tath. . . Nrsigac dan si't me. To enbe teh it ym si wno easecp rnpeso vi'e that niygtr udbon yhw em flie to si oewhl. . . . .
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Prdisersu hyea 'udyo eb. . . Idnk ddi dlifiernrg egt a i of. Nda even doy'u iddt'n best hiwt atth owt elef dan e,ty skerp ti idenrf emt a uroy yna even btu swa iglr t,geil rieprssud oyu h'aenvt rof sroedeidcn rseay tath dnti'd etg be. 2 rhe oetsrppud psat nad almyif rhe nda baupker itchk thni, uoy eh,tdsa vnee ohhugtr. Incetruan oprs rfo rfo cons so nmthso rdgetlgus yoru hes ifneslge iwegnihg ehr isgmoetnh ndrhiepsfi to sosneedcf ou,y het of adn nriksgi henw uyo. Deidedc eb dan htwi ewre to ebrva os ti ubt og yuo you lov,e in. And daei yuo post, flamrniaiu on yda yuo eth a ormf swho wonrg nad ukbarep tarfe drae pap esh hwit kerab pu ctoynru ni inkmag uyo tb,w otesn ongifer dan aedm ehr ouy cyti 1 atwi pdumde pu ujst omme ot /21 rhe. Dre sthta' ehr ertseh i tw,b i wnok lgaf daeht owkn a. Ucmh ecra utb too abuto cdrae item rhe to eht uoy ta. Shti gonolik to stap hagelni of e'iv ubt tlo ndfi a ,ayre tbeetr m'i vole radrwfo deno. Get erhte l'ewl elevuatyln. .
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Yub nto krdngini uytaclla 'mi ddi i pceah but my!aerno a eciju. .

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