A letter from Mar 24, 2023

Hey you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I know you normally don't feel very well on your birthday so I'm here to check on you... How are you doing, love? I don't know the time that you are seeing this but I hope you are having a very good day and that the rest of it is even better (i know, so cliche, but sometimes cliche is a good thing). Please tell me, what did you already did and what are your plans for today? You are a little too anxious to not having planned anything hahaha. I am in a very good moment right now and it doesn't happens much so I'm just trying to enjoy the most that I can : ). It's been almost a month since university started and I love what I am studding, even if it's not much related with books, it is a lot related with movies and tv shows and I am totally obsessed with it! The people in my curse are really great, they are very shy tho and I think I'm the most extroverted in there if you can believe it, but I like the way they think and I really enjoy creating things with them. It's very different working with people who really want to be there and are interested in the subject. Mom and dad are good, Rafa is too, we've been happy and we go every saturday to the fair (i don't know if his is the right name) with mom and somehow I think that's really help. Tia Rose is not that good, but she is already better then a few weeks ago, which is a relive, but I still worry so much with her. The girls are good too and I've been talking all day with them, I miss seeing them tho, we are trying to find a date to see each other but you know how hard it is, I've have never seen 18 year old so busy in my life! I still wouldn't change them for nothing in this world. I still cry every week in therapy, Dr. Laura knows how to plat hard, but it is because we talk about things in a really deep way and a lot of things that already have passed. I haven't fell the need to cry as I used to and that makes me so happy, even when I have something bad that happens I am being able to deal with those things better. Can you believe it? Because, honestly, after so many months where I just felt shitty all the time and everything was so overwhelming, it's a bit hard to understand how I got here, but I am so happy that I did tho. And this feeling of being good with myself is definitely a great thing. Just so you know what I am obsessed with right now... I am currently watching 911 and 911 Lone Star weekly and the last episodes of Daisy Jones and The Six is going to be ut tomorrow, but I'm most crazy about 911. I'm pretty sure we just had the couch theory confirmed and tarlos is planning the wedding so I'm basically freaking out every second of every day because of them and reading fanfic 24/7. On youtube, I am watching a lot of hthaze albums reactions (you can also read that I am watching all of them) and felps lives which is something I never expected but here we are and of course the usual ones - luba, jean, karen and matheus. I'm reading three books at the moment: Sons of Dune, Alguém para você and Radio Silence. I know... it's a lot, but in my defense I have to finish Dune eventually, I need a book that is just cute and easy and I'm re-reading in an audiobook form for when I can't sleep. I am sincerely loving reading them all, so I'll just keep doing that. Of course, I still only think about the marauders era and talk about wolfstar and jegulus to anyone who would stop to listen. I'm thinking in start Crimson Rivers, what do you think? My most listened songs are: the 30th, people help the people, aurora, break my heart again, nothing new and little moth; My most listened singers are: Taylor, Cavetown, Conan, Queen, Daisy Jones & The Six and Finneas. Oh and I have a new cactus, I don't know their name yet but they're gorgeous and I'm totally in live with them. Yeah.. I think that's what happening in my life right now... I just wanted to thank you, I don't know what is happening with you or in your life while you're reading this, but in the end it's just us, right? So thank you for still being there and living another year. Yes living, I am going to finally use this word because I truly believed that you did so much more than just survive this year. You have been doing great, much more than that actually and I truly am proud of you. Even while you're fighting and trying too understand so many things that are inside of you, things that you are even scared to say it out loud, things that you never told another soul and that you are not sure that you ever will... you somehow is the best version of us. Keep doing the 1 second video everyday. Keep doing the bereal and swearing on the most stupid moments that it decides to function. Keep drawing even though you hate them sometimes. Keep writing the most stupid and not stupids facts that happened in your life everyday with the hope that you will transform it into a book one day. Keep taking pictures of the sky whenever you think it is beautiful and post them, even if you think that no one cares. Keep being so excited about none existent people only because they make you that happy. Keep listening and re-listening your favourite songs and singing them all them time, especially if it annoys your brother. Keep sending the people that you love cat videos because you think that will make their day better. Keep being your loud self. If there is only a reason for it, do it because i love her. That person makes me so happy and I could talk for hours about every single one of those topics... Oh, my beautiful, keep doing those things that make you you, just because. Simple as that, just because. I love you, even if I forget about it sometimes, okay? I really do. Happy birthday!! Sincerely, me.