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im writing this because today is march 13. well now it’s the 14th because clock just turned 12
but LOL idc. im nervous and anxious and 3 years ago today covid started and just thinking about how it’s been 3 years makes my stomach drop and i know yours will drop too reading this lol! i know you too well and you ******* know it. it’s about 2 months and 16 days till i turn 17, and most of my friends are already turning 17 which is honestly reaffirming and a little calming since it makes me feel less panicked about growing up i guess. im so nervous and i hate saying it, i know you’re nervous too but i know you’re less nervous than i am, in some ways. in others you’re ******** ur pants more than me LOOOOL but it’s okay. that’s how i feel, how do YOU feel? little miss high school graduate? little miss 18 year old? girl stfu how the actual **** did we get here 🤨🤨🤨 now ***** tell me you got into college (you did) psych? (maybe yes no perhaps??) ***** stressing the **** out of me. how’s the job going babes? pls tell me you got ur **** highlights if not then here’s your reminder you look better with lighter hair (i love u) now i don’t even want to talk about it but i’m going to and i don’t wanna make you feel like **** so don’t make yourself feel like **** cause you don’t ******* deserve it. tell me to shut the **** up and tell me i don’t know crap and how i’m missing character development so my opinion is irrelevant. tell me to try and be you then come back. LMAO tell me it’s going to be okay cause it ******* is and how we can stick to goals and we got that bod babes. see i’m hesitating to type that but i’m working on that right now so you can have some results. i love you so much , please stay strong for me, for our life and for who we’re becoming. anyways prep for the new house is keeping me going as well as my hyperfixation on post apocalyptic shows (yk **** well what i’m talking about) truth be told i’m kinda jealous of them not having to worry about getting into uni and having a job and not knowing what i wanna do with my life, but then again i’m a silly ***** for being jealous of daily survival and life or ***** situations, knowing me i’d have a breakdown over my curls and not being able to do my eyebrows(that just made me realize i’m making myself sound like a vain ***** but my mental health low key relies on it). i guess that’s the appeal of post apocalypse and escaping and having a world so different and far from how we live that it’s refreshing and a fresh start. well i just got soooo off track but yk i don’t know how to shut up and ur my favorite person to talk to anyways so imma keep going. i feel like i finally get bored of myself when i’m asking the question “when am i gonna get a boyfriend” more like “when am i gonna find that love i crave so bad” cause i just gotta be ******* patient man be so fr you’re so desperate i feel like papito dios is laughing his *** off everytime i cry over it hes probs like “girl sit ur *** down and wait & see”. that goes for you too. anyways i know you got this and i hope you enjoyed a glimpse into your 16 year old selfs mind as a birthday gift. happy birthday legal queen, go drive and get drunk high idk scream into the abiss i love you
Epilogue
over 1 year laterim...
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