A letter from March 12th, 2023

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so sad right now. I feel like everything in my life that could go wrong, is going wrong, which might sound like an exaggeration to you in 6 months, but at least you know where i’m coming from. We’ve got important tests in May/June, which I feel like have come far too quickly. By the time you get this letter, you’d have already done them, hope everything went well, and that you are relaxing so much, we need it. We have a job which feels like the worst thing on Earth, but the money is the only thing enticing me to stay. Well, I should say “did entice me”, bc currently I decided to quit. I’ve got a shift tomorrow, hopefully I quit then, as planned to. I guess you’ll know the answer to that. On the brighter side, we have good friends! I hope our friendships are still as strong if not stronger, because I don’t want to lose anyone. Well, other than that *one* person, I hope you tell me all about them in 6 months. Do we still talk to them? Did something large happen like a fight? I hope so, but only because it would be funny. Not much drama happens in my life anymore. Bit of a weird subject: what about our fashion sense? Do we still have the same weird emo thing going on, or have we finally decided to wear colour? I really hope you are enjoying yourself, and that you are happy. It’s been a really rough couple of months, starting this new school has just started the domino effect of life crashing down. You know, some days (like today) I feel so dramatic saying that (and i know you will probably cringe or something) but other days i think it completely true. I’ve slowly become my biggest critic and enemy. I feel like I can’t even do anything without berating myself and making myself feel guilty. I hope in the near future, everything feels fine. We don’t have to be completely cured or sorted out - ready for life and all that jazz - but I hope we just feel fine. I also hope our relationship with our mother is good, lately it’s been getting better and I would hate to see it plummet or smth. You have to keep going, even though some days you feel like you have 0 motivation, you have to keep going. For me, and for everyone else in your life. You’re not alone. You will be in Year 13. Hold out for a little while longer. Remember how good life will feel when we are rich and happy and healthy. I hope you have a hobby too, god KNOWS you need one. PLEASE STOP PLAYING GENSHIN IMPACT! From me. Or you. Us?

Epilogue

about 6 hours later

Who the fuck made you inspirational quote of the year?
We are in year 13. I don’t know why you thought it would be a calm, relaxing walk in the...

Rkpa. Yrae ’tsi eth nflai. Eyra fo eybrez epaiphnng n!s!!oe! hgnntio hte v-aees:ll eht our hree earl. Byus ssle tnha its’ laayerd qtuei ee,kw nad a adh ei’v ebne. .
Dsa ees mkea it to dsa em oyu sdeo. Aer eirdw heset tbu i,emn stlil swrod me it wkon easmk i leef. Otg, gesus smlfey hwo vnere dseariel bad it twiingr i siht i pisdtee. Ubt d,sa ear we eht drebeisc it eye lstli of ikle rosmt fo ’id eth as wno. Ti now, calm ni slilt but s’it ctkhi ew grith rae.
Yadbl uro et,s’st ieladf botau ethm uitqe orptma‘tin we. Oru liedaf of el,wl evonrsi. Hte we asnrad,dt lropoy yb neev idd. End u,tb it fo wodlr eth was’nt teh. Ilslt ttah ,nui ogdo illw hte now we ckasl i so uotgahlh as up uoy r,oepdpd ofr kpic eadgsr pddceteir taek aveh atth uyo cflo,iialhrry ot avhe. Miagnbl wonk do ’(im dan not as ,okginj i owhle lnyo a em spat niogn)th a ilwl me.
Gtuhoht boj, uiqt aws ultoaghh eybaufrr idd ew hacmr uor i ni not ti. Rfo sntkicig neod lwel htiw ti you. Iem)n ti i eolrvsuse ouseveslr a td’nid awy odgo wsa drows omrf mkigna tno ahhlutog at uilgyt ebragint us twih aslte it eth n,thik ear o,nw grhit stpo and soiecndi, oy(ur elfe stihng. I gsbgeti now rci,tic llte ouy.
Tlshyneo b,utoa eb more ehva cifsicpe iaed ot rea cihwh **neo i pronse no oyu uoy on ende. Arelly satth’ nyunf hlhau,ogt qeuit. I no,kw ouy ,item vgaue tatlynnis so htta aehv a thta utb seugs het it lowud ssmuaed olny i aws ptlanveer at adie i. Rkdawaw al(etbi es,nadtri ,fo swa to wtih na)eocotivnrss if talk nhnkigit lilts m’i we hwo ghtif etreh htem dna on do st’i. Rea ttah nto kown we ouy ioonfcnlrata,tno nda. Tg,ihf a otn ouy epho n’odt luryt os,la ofr. Uoy kame sda ti dlwou.
Oiahfns nse?se i’…st. Nieptlgde. Syad dna aer tbtree esmo is niogg nad lntcoghi btyabba omre eots,hr gtinh enth bacsi on, it tslil ts’i m,noarl htero htog? emo weidr d’i ntah yasd se,y thlhguoa serciebd as. Urooc,l albck sutj on. .
Book, rdea a klei ta am drows rouy gngriicn em you i. Otabu mi’ tirwe sah elef os od i hatt idd to pyahp ew olpymtecle si eht ncahedg nnhogit you erdftenfi i btu atht ni,fe efn,i do wn,o tgninho pt,as flee. G,odo s’ti merhto ruo shs’e adn uor hrtme?o htiw. Dogo enoguh me rfo tt’ash.
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Wtha vere idas i hscu a ilke e’vi to hda qtuei ee…rh aontspiirin utcylaal acriteon uyo tshi odtn’ nkhti. Spreto orfm yslm,ef lmeyf,s to eahinrg ntah ’its dnertfefi it a. To ont rsodw evah noit i( degrani iwatgnn dwor,ke of ubt wsa wdosr, eavh wno ti oshloc in m’i ywa !uot ouy tihw as i ,aon)ers ,kics a dan a ,edb am yrou livad go i. Saldy niru i at lvie,tnroae wto’n hist t,i hgoaulth dtno’ mi“ ton ekli otdl uyo gbine htat oto i a new go i ddi hucm ,lneao” ,end is noit gsesu het tub. .
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Yehahtl and anc ruo a and of ile,f mi’ ehosu eayr h!its ritcpiugn 1,3 ihwt nmeyo hyppa we ibg od alosd. Qittunig gmae otn nuynf tllis ash’tt ofr ew you ear - uurfte a ndto’ 5/005 si’nt the utb of eylar ,inw ouy ob,byh of uptsdi and ishngne ogt qerutra aveh takl be vaeh uabto just )app! mca,itp taht fo auceesb ew ttah ttha a p,yti em elbw ot ot em wol on a’ttsh anem ulyk?c myeno orpdu lreopmb my we a,egm teh a keil he,y( icldeh. In oto raf. .
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Uoy to ,em ckab from.

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princyblogz:

almost 2 years ago

Pls post the epilogue and link it as a separate letter 😭😭. I wanna read it so bad because of the “who tf made you inspiration queen of the year” LMAOO

sumayyafayziddin:

almost 2 years ago

Were the "important tests in may/june" your as/a levels by any chance? I know how you feel cause i went through it too but with gcses, and you're right, they did come way too quickly but look we made it 🙏 🙏 got my results and I passed all of them. Now I have no clue what to do next and I'm so lost but hey, we just keep trusting that everything will work out somehow. I hope your results were good and wish you gl with year 13, dw we got this 🙏

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