A letter from Jan 29, 2023

Dear FutureMe, I am sorry. i do not feel a sense of purpose anymore. I am doing well in school and I have okay friends but I feel so lonely. I always feel the need to die. I can’t explain it but everyday I wake up this immense feeling of sadness and loneliness. I wish I could change and be more like myself but lately I just have not been able to handle my own emotions. At school I am able to not worry about my emotions because I have selfish friends which I love because if they weren’t selfish I would still think about my own issues. Sometimes I try to think about the future I could have and the love I could receive but why must I always have to wait shouldn’t I already feel loved? If i end up being able to read this then I am glad that I lived to be old enough understand that I just needed someone to notice my pain and just hug me till i fell asleep. I am sorry. dearly from, Arayelie (17)