A letter from Jan 01, 2023

Dear FutureMe, well it was the start of the year today ig. 2022 are sucks. You understand it well, we've lost Kae. The only one who understands us despite our antics. But God gives me many friends from that, the friends im grow to love, the one who will stand beside me no matter what. 2022 makes me much self aware, i cant say it much better. But i started to try to not harm myself. I started understand my feelings more. i really hope you do better, because our parents well doesnt accept the first rank in class. They needed more than we had achieved, they needed us to get the trophy of generation rank. I really cant do it in 2022. There are many dissapointment, one of it being heard im not able to go through KSM for 2023, it broke my heart much. Cause i knew how much important it is for my parents. They would be so angry if heard this, i havent told them about it yet. So how was the reaction? I now understand why the value of my grade is really important to me, i want to be accepted, by them. No one understand how being smart is really important for me, they never live in my household, thay way of think are engraved in my mind. It hurts to know that i always think that my parenta wouldnt accept me if i was not being smart, **** they would not accept us-me and my siblings- for not being smart upon i heard my mother cried that my sister is not getting the rank. They woukd always says that it was for us, but the reality it is for you is it? My siblings just could be better at things beside academic. But you wouldnt accept that. Someone who love you wouldnt this. so how was it going there? They remains the same? Well i never expect it to change tho. Please protect our little sister and brother.