A letter from Nov 24, 2022

Dear FutureMe, It’s 2:13am again; I’ve woken up and can’t go back to bed. Waking up at this time is never good because I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s been almost 5 months. How the hell do I recover from this sickness? This week I’ve felt more sadness because I don’t remember what it feels like to talk to her. I’m very slowly starting to stop wondering what she’s doing. This might be good sign but it’s such a crazy thing to experience. I’ve felt all types of feelings: sadness, embarrassment, anger, fear etc. I’m really struggling man. I haven’t touched my power BI course or any other course in months. This year has been a very draining year. Pretty similar to 2014 or 2019. One thing I’m starting to realise is once a pain is in the past, you really forget a lot about the details and how painful it might have truly been at the time. For example, I can’t accurately compare which year was worse; I’m just going through it right now. I also feel bad that she may be going through a tough time as well. I miss her so much. But sometimes I feel angry about how the breakup happened. Right now, I’m considering not going to church for a while and just taking my Sundays to relax and recalibrate. I really feel the need to get my life back on track. I’m 27 now and I really want to be good at Power BI, Python and SQL. I also want to be very knowledgeable about the energy industry. I started financial planning for 2023 and I felt so so anxious. I really want a car now - it’s getting very ridiculous - but I don’t think I’m going to get it until Q3 to Q4 of next year. Well that’s enough for tonight. There’s a after work pub quiz later today so I better get back to bed. Please tell me it’s a lot better now