A letter from November 20th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, I can’t wait to feel like myself again. Everything hurts. I don’t know who to ask for help or who to talk to. Everyday is exhausting and lonely. I’m happy my friends are happy and doing great, sometimes I’m envious of it because I wish I could be as happy as them instead of feeling empty. I’ve been working a lot just to keep myself busy and to have something to look forwards to at the end of the day. I even got a second job as a nanny(kinda). I miss him so much but I don’t have the heart to text him. It’s fine tho, well it’s not but it will be. Eventually. When you read this, I hope you have your appetite again. I hate the feeling of throwing up that I get after a few bites of food. I need to eat a little more without feeling sick. I made a list this morning of things I want to do with myself. I can’t trust or rely on people to I have to rely on myself to hopefully find myself and my happiness again. Since I’m working a lot more now I can afford to do them little by little. Being at home has been frustrating and I want to move. I need to start saving more and saving better. I hope by the time I read this. I’m 2/4 of my goal. Whatever that goal is. I’ve also decided that I’m tired of being independent and a ‘strong woman’ **** that. I was to be treated like a ******* princess even if I don’t feel like it and obviously aren’t. Guys keep texting me and I know most of them just want *** but unless they are willing to spoil me and take care of me. I don’t want them. He ruined *** for me anyways, and since I can’t imagine myself having *** with anyone else there’s no point pretending and entertaining people that just wants me for ***🙄. Anyways I’m hungry and even though I also feel like throwing up. I’m going to try and look for something to eat. Today is also the last day of classes before exams start. So yeah 👍🏿👎🏿