what I never told you (from asshole)

Princess, It's 9:30 p.m. Feb. 16, 2006 and I had to get off my chest what I didn't want to tell you; not b/c I didn't want to, but b/c I felt that you didn't want to hear it or would be upset b/c ur preoccupied w/ other things/people/whatever. BTW, this is the night you got pissed @ me for getting off the phone abruptly and getting in the shower (I hope that helps to remember.) So, what you didn't know then but you know now is that two days ago I was planing on proposing to you; I was going to fly down the weekend after Valentines. Then all that shit went down and you told me to back off and chill out. So I didn't come down and do that. I was planning on moving back by fall. A smart woman told me once that things happen for a reason, and while I think that may have some truth, it's more likely that things happen because people want them to. Or not to. All I know is that I'm sending this email to you in the future (or your present) b/c I don't have the balls to tell you now. But I think you already knew a little bit, even if you don't admit it to yourself. Your the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me, and I love you for it. I'll always care for you, I'll always love you. I know you're probably in love, making someone special feel very happy, and that's good. You deserve nothing but 'Smiles' which is why I called you that. Take care of B-dog and remember what you're working so hard for, you're almost there. Freezing my ass off in Beantown, knowing that it really is the little things.