A letter from Sep 05, 2022

Time Travelled — almost 2 years

Peaceful right?

OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ------ New Questions (5/9/22) how was the gap year???? i know working was probs hard and stress BUT think of all that money and experience. did you book/go on that dream trip to crema? I know it seems super expensive - maybe just maybe talk to mum about financing it a bit - your dream of cycling round the Italian countryside deserves to come to fruition HOW'S THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT!!! you are working so hard on it right now - actually keeping up w/ your goal - its at £228 right now - pretty cool :) How did A Levels go? i really wouldn't ask but i think you will do well - i know I always say I don't believe in myself but i think i am actually pretty smart hehe OMG OMG OMG WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO UNI!!!! HOW WAS THIS NOT MY FIRST QUESTION? DID YOU MIRACULOUSLY GET INTO OXFORD LOL, OR SHEFFIELD, YOU LOVE SHEFFIELD, MAYBE EDINBURG, THEY DO A SUPER GOOD YEAR ABROAD SCHEME, awww whatever/whevever you go, make the most of it. love life... do i dare ask... finally get that first kiss yet??? if not that's ok, we're working on it :))) what tv are you watching right now? so many shows so little time lol. oooh how are the new marvel movies - last one that came out was love and thunder (mid) and ms marvel (amazing!!!) you still addicted to iced coffee lol please tell me your keeping in touch with louise and heather - you need them, they are really good friends ohhhh and Kassie and Charles!!! please tell me you kept in touch! I'm seeing them next week, we're watching The Sandman together and maybe the dofe lot - they are lovely - perhaps a yearly ice skating thing? i hope you still read a lot - it is super cool - hopefully you've had more time because you're not at school OMG DID YOU WATCH ALL THE MOVIES ON THE MOVIE POSTER IN YOUR ROOM - YOU AND DAD ARE SO EXCITED TO START IT! did you get that funky samsung flip phone? is covid totally gone by then? its not really a thing anymore but it still feels weird to think about. i still cant get over how i lost 2 years to sadness, how i could have been enjoying my family time, and exploring new things. i don't like to dwell on the past but i will be eternally sad for all the pain emma caused me - i am so glad i got out of that friendship have you and mum and dad and sister finished watching big bang theory yet - you're on season 4 right now! YOU BETTER STILL DO FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT! THOSE ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE WEEK, NOT THAT YOU WOULD EVER ADMIT THAT i hesitate to ask but are you still friends with Annabelle, she's changed so much... it's just more awkward now... i don't think we'll ever be proper freidns again, that makes me sad ollie... just no. i hope iris is doing better - she deserves to be happy did you paint the walls of your room green? that was the dream! how hard was winter 2022 financially? mum and dad are looking nervous, talking about shutting off the heating to save money talking of that, is the war in ukraine over? is russia giving us gas again? i hope you're enjoying life just a bit more, baby steps, think of how far you have come since 2020 i love you idiot :))))))

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Ugothhr bggseit blyopbar my **** hte dclisarytla tsju leik illw enbe inu olyh 'evi elfi eretin caeh,ng heagcn rvee. Owh jtsu chum het nnr,tuig fo on amonut sti to ttswis ensain thta epesk zcrya hte nda rlwod me lotp urocc. Leef i dorpesn ot slohud i nseitsuoq a efw ko lkie.
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Odl rtasts ym gilr erya all ofuyrlse it ot noigg tfac im yiesmr lhoew my rtsut yrl,stif tesg r,rsyo wree hhrtugo oury oyu sa denxet it utsj sa ,eslf in wnlgoilwa happen 61 em eifl yaelrl et,erbt oyu tpos into dan in it i wohrt to osno ve,lo so ouy. Uttrs syhed leearsdi as way lisyl reneyveo bineg reoolc uraond you me pu ense kinth wyaa i of as rof form tsuj cereieesxpn is lese sa to nda npoe oyu oons i evha tarst athn heav sa that you, disptu oldwu faer as nda and mi ouy lonuoc. Evyr slcreci oesd tiruytma, and oyur eht nda horsizno ihwt eewrh lpepeo ihts utjs not tsill lear ulbbeb 61 kaa( xeanpd aoromhnl dna hgih bcka si rcr,iyheah recftel eilf you iynt rea oerm teim ta liaeesr owrg olpiuaprty esbsseod ithw eth nad up omer teh ouy loas )hslcoo oecms inoamrptt.
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Regntgirte - lal ot aery dna ym as w/ in salo aiemd hsedcwti cihoec sjoaurinml uiefgr tib 'vie aitsrtng my yuo hgenca eeergd htat ym loehw ssalcisc im nkow im item haha) syoihtr terlte a dna uesr hhylgi mi utb uto rdostaw exnt legnnai n(ot tol ithgm isth gnaai a eb i **** dan enerv t'ill to nooccaitmmnui.
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Ayhe dnehbi gnogi bro etpryt idtn,ag rwe'e eli i,skigsn - sbyo tilsl to tno. A atde orop as rty pu yhae ibgen rttpye uyo sad' job adn dseo chidl ninlgrsuysipu yiesk hwen a to rgwo so. Gminka i is cmhu it olysiuser a githn sjeok onkw oyu tbu won, yrros bda it how si bakc enev shold liwd tsill. Imthg to ni pdteua i eth hwsi tebrte nareiltohips htta that senw oll laetsb nda dbenyo fairad utb be wdreko mi i 2520 a reayhtp nda or aevh hpayp dha oru'ey a. Fo did ebne too etll mi oyu wya btoau scerte yuo, ot ddi mum so he runaod iyganrcr udrop 3< rpuse atht orf olng whta vueo'y you.
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Feli rycing a ohuhtg i sahesp het !o!k! gbmeenssrai aphpy ktoabrwhc into a yo'uve aosenr, uoy uchm fnlneuiec trteeb mero 'sit in usyb idmnihsi tills tog eb a ko ym teg sa mreo seur nad nad ,it mreo satp rfo eaegtenr wnok veen nwo, ouyr t'ehrye ppdseous ym i oreyu' athts ahtrlieoinsp fo aeshsp olve f1 uluersrnatap ubt im ryev my tlsil mi obtau ot ithw ublmtr wlil.
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Htis ileeveb ok tno ot iongg yuoe'r lregii. . . . Lal ta vlesseh uyo ayhe dtrei thta hte etocs rokw oyu lecpa absbe eosefcf' on ,romf mhte vy'uoe het iallrylte stokc. . . . Polt ttwsi hhaa. I buoat odg tge so vloed yrcaz hlesevs 91 teh tsgonkci but mi sotec whta as eb ot eeoicdsrdn jbo 16 l'wle ta em ew dah ,ycr dtn'o onto ldwuo oh( ttah arlt)e erve nentimo taht at ni id' vahe olnsythe tl!et!re tceso humc but o a 'vei thikn ea,r we reeh eyah rstif my ngoid y.
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Ucmh sdowlr tn,esetrsi edaring ewdri sa oruy me bcka srutt eatm itwrngi ouy as mrnigaiay ktihn ghlndoi neve nr'tea yuo adn oruy. Nad 17 past dna adb i nad elledwanogebk elpoep 18 so nunyf saw its ta value yuo eaumsds a whhic all isteisenv oyu htta dod asw driew and dan smug it dna ntws,a' kndi dna hetse emivtoe me edam and ti in htgnsi ntihg, and humc.
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Wno teher out, somlta at na yuo o,n uory iisnmgs sxpieneceer lrea rhewe usttr it ohtse slufroey rfo nltaem rtetbe ta saw dki anc atth epke i aresf ihnvag h,elhat dlrow iyraelt em, asw tib ni twha euyo'r 16 were eeaetng wno sdsemi uot uyo a hiknt tou uoy aeg.
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Era and ophe nfegeil ou,y i" m,e igvinl ureuft anth em retbet.
Temrat uoy i tahw evlo no. Htwa utiec a ". Dudyb urtts ogind me ok 'eewr.
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Efel trodeensa ruoy mxeas ceoh esh pshguin rof i ouy oodg in me ni fo upesr awht 17 ,tsdae edon yuo stju tceso i deihr dna weer caft hrad sohte ppoyp ehnw a ro,wk iketanhr looholoeoooo oyu vesell yrou ,lnehysot ssya y dahea lrig 81 ellw udpor so o yrou were y eikl o ebnig hhu,rogt wkne eewr ivigbn lla hwti in ushc upt meits uyo ianmazg ogdo you uatob ffetor.
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I ----- atsl empteebrs was adn btu gnpeneexiirc ti ngtnhilgi so it os" - os ucmh mi enirda taht" rdah !won! n,iar rmadon ieldk herte yhea ntghi ighrt.
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Ta lslti a aehy ti rlig me odraff acn eclu iemm rpi ,sgrton i htat ton hughot eofcfe edci tatel acef ggino fi niu dna.
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Heltah kcab hses sopp is) i oru em i eyra amne fnyun odnt eht 18 jkeo yrsor llllllol owh - agilfer sti anlemt dol mi( terhsnec to ni htnik tsuj.
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Ot tou ngndfii het eptk niogg iun ti olco enwh iftrs mhcu the i oot obj ta apehtry in ogod unht it asw utb crafeus hgint elfdniteay so tthsa whne nad oyu ym ot lleev need mose get wsa put etoffr u'oyre laftoa me yeah a lesoinfpoasr hple snmhto olco 3 ot all dindt hdar help.
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Mmu ot not orf odtn ttha to wlle peek be os nwte boaut endo dna bhal yeaarld ti lgakint ahey hbla i intkh het ts,ih niogd i lbha to konw obj ew urhghot oohoyonoowo,a sesem irtygn.
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Oh shrete elactroth oby ensm,o gdoo eerh ko ho ot so tol oh a upknac vreo boy ubddy iglrfnit oyb ihtw. Wtsit otpl htat gtlnlei kksitto oludnwt het is me mnmote of bveleie si 0322" ese ihts nehw 4220 rhe eth lkie uaob"t you em oshte. Ceatr soryr woh ltlarylei isth ot rlgi i otancn soryt fahmot uyo odwul. Ihst owh ot loly otdcor kinls alos.
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Stuj eisky mhi llte thghou ysynawa oery'u it be gmo so o?t????h?tegr?e?? ythe rhe bisaclyal swa weidr hes even cna dna ehyt idd met, otdl ,ahsdegg wnke os lkeid duwlo ouy yhae she oyu sefsilh ti tpsle i eikl haye so dan a,thw. Awnan go es'sh a endo to ttha as fo ecuseab ngowr tath nedoep you nrdeif sefsihl ryou as tno utb awynays ti ro eh i asw rhe ssee erh erevn bcesaeu nda aws taht het mreo so atcf diploseoag maent by dgoo osctian ys??a??e stor ehs dna aycsballi lrylea tond ti sseh radh told 'ehss yese iton esh. . . . Teg tihs derya rfo. . . Eht fb gte em she ug,y nutaitsoi tnddi she meso tusj a weloh mih wenh pu decrswe ont owh lylo btuoa ti kjeo oethr a sutj daem hsa i wno???? hcum nda. Silrsueyo deartst it dseems of pu i leselv i up, keil mkiongs me desmse nmea me. Wonk antw ryuenog (:((( to i ndtid ylrlea pphsane royrs **** im somek me oyu me.
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Em h,rda gto ersnop ykluc mi ttigneg yteh oysentlh a lqfieadui a eayh i tub lsao ahtt ywh dlwtoun good bjo sta'wn rtalyllie want. Temees het ak(a in yug edehpl ag)ani no lfes veiprmo acm is sith sreta iths ueinneflc fo my and em ym rielsosuy ysee my oops ego.
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Yrev lwli lilw aka( nui naemt teh yuor mcpait cet) nvomig ****** het rae fidrt illw oens to atayucll snsid,ehrifp ahev nifdsre elittl syta em ot tol nda no rclatat,ho that ot t,rhu nseo uyor rutts eht soil,ue tmena. Uyor het fwe oastn up tlils wtih a nda a pu lgnao 'uoyll mhil)e way cipk escolr isdenfr lnealeab dne and ntwo lto teigntg oals abyeurgr/c 'oully in kaa a(krm nwe ymjim neev plepoe.
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Ilwl lrye omre og ablcnee ubt ctaiinofnf swlaya fro uot ltyehah illw wdrol dotn nfa uoy fo a mi hrtee uyo nrne,mieentatt reus srhete eb teh het you yrou gbi a flei elss teh ryrwo trpa no.
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Tub isgmnis fof now awwwww him be gstihn nwe ish ta ta eensr'eovy hsi i hucs do ihgrt e'uyor ist donewr hwo bjo zryca tsuj dik at,doy of hwo utb em tis lsta udorp erftfnide ,do rueps wkro to ac,m ayd ahey ill't ot asmx hte slado. Rnesfdi ietrh doxo,rf fof to redinfs defsnir gbondainan rtavle aehv i aingsrtt tudal drlow ocels nirsefd ojb girb,dcmea at to eetirt,mnre iftrs mane nad het uoy sfenrdi. 'lewl hnkti its in ot sryea ilwd erwhe ikd eb itme lal a.
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Ihwt i in ds,emok the ni up nikth etbena mmsaruy ynrale a 2 wesek mfro mhoe rtdpa,ie ew,de ,me evidrn klie thiw picgnik dsrnief tog ,fof ni srtut adepnhpe tlsa eysssassssr my ahev bpu, odunar at hsa fnsedri, ive is em ,lto eptls sy,ug 3 ilfe is edacdn i lyialfn eond the eth my up yaaw suyg to ares terstiedne mead em naht atht orme. Iggno teltil niu mi heacgn slmefy ta ntcntoe seru hte uinghlga entx for i utobd rweeh tshi oeds meti "oh 'mi eb hse at gynehvrtei tihw im btu ndto lliw hwo eray i'll onmetm o"wkn. Hnaktrei a me ptrisfgein oldrw i ouy em ehav sjut poleep hnak(t mca lvoe dan dan amknig cry astth ttah fro ta at ot how sraoen)iliat my. Laeeps ist yrsac ubt orf is the lal ): teetbr ttha egahnc ogngi and to yoleplhuf.
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Dda hda to i oh rmoe **** rtgfoo ahhhh.
1. Eoynm gpa voylel viaghn syera ogd,o looks entx hrda eary ursep as dna ot ton tbde) pypop ti si wsa as ist in whos osy(rr ynlshtoe. Lto oyu ti hte wrok thohug redic and a your asid ttah job eomr eden frfeot ppolee aedwrr os rwge tlo teadh to at t,irfs iwth slse enhw oyu uoy nvee etleoart rfo nda humc oyu you dobgoye yuo a hnet evol.
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2. A god nwo wdrei ppahdene ont epon tmei dessuf atht armec hatst goa rneve.
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3. Vssigna avdse niu up lgir ocuatn 001,£00 ehva - i rof.
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4. Levlse lewl been vore shit a ddi.
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5. ******* i to uded ton xofdro i but ereth odgo ewrto ot veah sak ryeall stath it cup y'oud dnoigx ro not rclylaluut ltcyalau railllyte eenb og ti og yuo btu inggo in (im edmrni ouercs etisld ttsur etvnysoee yuo nda atht atediosl needrtffi tsi teh tub tub egbni i ot a nda lrig gtrae athe own, ot tno uoy im tdno emnoy, ehewr ytr knith arenyhew rroyw itwh sviit sti emit )ok sti goftro that and uowdl libdlue so eonnil im mi i atfc felmys is in a nnufy ti fnedsri tsi of atbou ouy wokn em aols tahde i by orb graet hahhaah sefmyl eat elrayl onesruv pu kcus ervy mchu oyru tyci eacs nmea.
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6. O(n htus ssik sfirt yet) pu.
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7. Lkie tv h'estre uni sowhs tv sa lrgi ryueo pppeinrg so ofr itastc tired riyelltla ainrb ouyr. Im whgcaitn ni noe soem alaksa iaslvsuitrv. I aveh mkea i g,od ufstf ot the noasrc adn rndeosp ddea atwn toyad oyu, idk seur i mi btu ot os bianr semo lartillye no ervregyint threo. Soal **** soryr you bekra mervla to ti is ot ewn.
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8. Ot teh of oddgye arnb ni rof ayptr ehay e,urs so eorenwh llsit dod rgostn fo ruoy adn naegv oiusel atrhhee edcpam tae eirtddf oakvd meso uoy niggo nad ntew ouiels idfshirpens rots mlided jelyl iesm esom tbu.
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9. Ton atorlcteh that peska otg she no nto cmitvi lteps het edkil u,oy dna opro oedsnt uyg gownoshifadr adme egilnef so hanoter iort to thta - maneroy ehnt wiht mgroode u'roey uyo eht ho aws it kssaie ybo. Trtlee digyn yfunn hatt uqeen amnes adnnmas dtea ersdetap a oll cush swa shti teh dna sola.
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01. Hclil thta ustj no foed to ew atclaluy naert ihwt utb wreid bnige tsi lecos tsaht.
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11. Rstgni cneatsne now yaevclti danrieg mi ot os at lckyu sbuy im of os ggbneini eth tsju ervy a the ocaehtnr yare ,toehgter.
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21. Oyu dhra rwoyr to on tmhe gnhit wchat ioctmm ioepmsr dan utsj eyha ondt idk lefl sti rahnote ahtt didnt ratpa sftfu to.
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13. Isri rea ouy dna ti payhp iflp dlo adb we ytcleoilvelc jtus ruoy on penoh hawt yuo rof uelibld hnepo yeo'ur acm nktihgni, smansgu epkegin ty)doa veen( fi sppo.
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41. Eht one,g oen ntwo ahey pmeknxyoo si new ivdoc be gbi but ordmreuu ti tsi. T,i mhuc emma ahye asd mi vyre mi rveo ubt too oto revo. Peke adn ldiw a ngimov ogatt btu miet tgota oifirhcr kepe yubs heytonsl sti.
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15. Doog igb ym gap fisidneh ihinefds so inesfdr lthhhgigi sit a mfro nyam angb sshwo ebne hatts icne, etyhor ryae shnieifd.
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16. Milafy hwit nghit of dgo si oyu ivmeo not mcuh hvae evyr eth tmsu bets ekwe no eneb ibt teh ylloen ndfeirs. Arbe the efselign ot cnta si cayebse pairgtn ruo euryo' lfee gtorteeh one fo i yaeh das ryuo ianp juts eth'rye stla egrrienpss hktni hgtino,t uoy.
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17. Nad hughort elalbane ervorfe setsbie e'rew nad ntah obth teims now reatlli nedobd adn ew rea rea wdil nae,nis obr omes uor me hvae viesl 630 vree cloesr erthtgeo enbe.
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18. Loiel. . . . Ahtw evne yeha hits deso ilslt bro no emna.
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19. A if kid uto neog rlfeseh ubt radk itewh icb(as ym ashpe eyrihnvget inrwgko ehs eahy to ri)lg pdspeuos hnta meo sit evah salo tgasny tnreagee ttusr siir hsse' hieappr dise i nda guiefdr at fro se'hs asewmtoh ahve ubt kdra esalt ehav - eb teh wosnk hre not sseh erh ehss to i svtserineora.
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02. Walsl higikntn was twf we grene i.
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21. Yssiprtoeiinlb uroy kdi iefn tops ot oegunh gto rllltieya chlligin lgri ist ueoyr' wr'ee era wv'ee os ug,ess yeah gniryowr ot i aemn i asol infeacsn teg em not htrei iun.
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22. Awr iltls giong. Raw's ngoig ayswal woe/msrehe.
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23. Eolv too i me llo nad rknasy jsut nkdckaere im uyo do ehya.

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