A letter from Sep 05, 2022

Time Travelled — almost 2 years

Peaceful right?

OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ------ New Questions (5/9/22) how was the gap year???? i know working was probs hard and stress BUT think of all that money and experience. did you book/go on that dream trip to crema? I know it seems super expensive - maybe just maybe talk to mum about financing it a bit - your dream of cycling round the Italian countryside deserves to come to fruition HOW'S THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT!!! you are working so hard on it right now - actually keeping up w/ your goal - its at £228 right now - pretty cool :) How did A Levels go? i really wouldn't ask but i think you will do well - i know I always say I don't believe in myself but i think i am actually pretty smart hehe OMG OMG OMG WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO UNI!!!! HOW WAS THIS NOT MY FIRST QUESTION? DID YOU MIRACULOUSLY GET INTO OXFORD LOL, OR SHEFFIELD, YOU LOVE SHEFFIELD, MAYBE EDINBURG, THEY DO A SUPER GOOD YEAR ABROAD SCHEME, awww whatever/whevever you go, make the most of it. love life... do i dare ask... finally get that first kiss yet??? if not that's ok, we're working on it :))) what tv are you watching right now? so many shows so little time lol. oooh how are the new marvel movies - last one that came out was love and thunder (mid) and ms marvel (amazing!!!) you still addicted to iced coffee lol please tell me your keeping in touch with louise and heather - you need them, they are really good friends ohhhh and Kassie and Charles!!! please tell me you kept in touch! I'm seeing them next week, we're watching The Sandman together and maybe the dofe lot - they are lovely - perhaps a yearly ice skating thing? i hope you still read a lot - it is super cool - hopefully you've had more time because you're not at school OMG DID YOU WATCH ALL THE MOVIES ON THE MOVIE POSTER IN YOUR ROOM - YOU AND DAD ARE SO EXCITED TO START IT! did you get that funky samsung flip phone? is covid totally gone by then? its not really a thing anymore but it still feels weird to think about. i still cant get over how i lost 2 years to sadness, how i could have been enjoying my family time, and exploring new things. i don't like to dwell on the past but i will be eternally sad for all the pain emma caused me - i am so glad i got out of that friendship have you and mum and dad and sister finished watching big bang theory yet - you're on season 4 right now! YOU BETTER STILL DO FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT! THOSE ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE WEEK, NOT THAT YOU WOULD EVER ADMIT THAT i hesitate to ask but are you still friends with Annabelle, she's changed so much... it's just more awkward now... i don't think we'll ever be proper freidns again, that makes me sad ollie... just no. i hope iris is doing better - she deserves to be happy did you paint the walls of your room green? that was the dream! how hard was winter 2022 financially? mum and dad are looking nervous, talking about shutting off the heating to save money talking of that, is the war in ukraine over? is russia giving us gas again? i hope you're enjoying life just a bit more, baby steps, think of how far you have come since 2020 i love you idiot :))))))

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Jtus ienetr nebe ever hugthro the ohyl inu ilfe cn,haeg yrblapbo ancheg **** evi' ilwl leki ylsraacdtil itgbges my. To tis tusj woh owrld teh of and oltp ccoru zyacr het htat motuna on hcum ngt,uinr kpees em ienans tiwtss. Leef nrpeosd ok ot hoslud i a eikl wef i sniequtso.
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Ouy yuo my lrgi sjtu os entdex eary you owhrt mresiy ym efs,l 16 ospt pnepha mi lfie elyalr as lla it wolhe eerw to i elo,v me ti ni oitn ni ctaf ttrus eufsryol utroghh ngoig ot nad ldo oyrsr, onos rtlsiy,f segt it tssatr ligowalwn sa ruyo ret,teb. Fo sdtipu rfea adn sratt slliy yawa up ot ihnkt im syedh bieng ujts as you dulwo yaw ereoenvy yuo as npoe sa taht heav aevh tstur lsee i em nad i anth as is lcoreo eaieldrs dna yuo onso mfro nocolu ordnau eens seincpxreee sa o,yu rof. Eht epeplo nad si and chayirer,h lbbbue tihw nzrsohio ta yruo rieeasl ltlis herwe you eflrtec yrtmitau, yevr omre bsssdoee pmritoant mero rnohoalm ogwr ka(a dan file nto sedo ceirscl oscl)ho tliaoupyrp nxpdae pu bakc rae ihtw oyu niyt hist teh ietm ghhi cosem 61 lrae dan salo jtus eht.
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Oehcic ym lal onkw **** and a sola uyo (not ttnairgs ni mtgih oatwdrs rletet aisnlrjumo tlo ohirsyt etnx deeerg to mtei my a and giaan lhiygh teerritngg eiv' to egnnial i tub sccaliss as erigfu be mi tuo mi suer tbi - ym aha)h im imead agehcn tath yare tll'i hsti wditehsc wehol neevr nad w/ ccntammuonioi.
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Ont iskgsi,n - ayhe to rbo yosb iltsl iebnhd ingtad, ile 'rewe iogng etyprt. Petyrt oorp so sa try enwh nda up supirgylniusn a 'asd a dhcil ehay uyo eingb ojb esdo deat eksiy gwor ot. Owh ingamk tllis wokn tub idwl a it even intgh adb yusersoil hlosd si royrs ouy i si back n,ow ti ojsek hmuc. Tub eth a htat seatbl 5202 i llo nad trebte ihws nobdye tduaep hmigt ahd iadraf ot a yethpar wrdoke nwse opihaltrsine ni mi or ehav yphpa i youe'r thta eb dan. Of umm idd oto eebn igcnrayr rdupo to wtah eh uepsr did uoy ,uoy fro crstee im glon <3 ywa ellt so uoy uyeo'v aondur hatt utbao.
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Enev a eyvr ohhgut user emor loev my baimngssere yuo adn but ,ti thtas umhc royu lstil moer aoutb nad tetrbe yppha tllsi 1f now, ym k!!!o ecifenlun h'eyert noti trmlub i meor ihndimsi im rfo ok osaer,n etg i ashpes a lwil cginry as dppesuos okwn hptnosrailei fo feli htiw ogt apst ybus krbwcthoa a eht suuralpertna be mi 'oreyu ym eshpsa nraeteeg to s'it ye'ouv in.
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Iths ot not 'yeuro ko nigog elgrii eveible. . . . Atth cplae all hte kowr foefcse' babes uyo otsec oyu emht vyue'o o,mrf hte ta ilarlyetl retid yeha on hseelvs ktsco. . . . Potl haah iwstt. Taht csote r)atel mi zycar eb btu o ew yeah iknht btu oont taht obj umhc to htosleny eotsc odevl so rhee aveh o'ndt eiv' veelssh ew a lwudo rfsti taoub i'd y hda eth odg igdon !reltet! erev at ra,e ahtw dsneireodc gte lewl' tcnsiokg at 16 oninmte sa my cyr, i 19 o(h in em.
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Ridgnae rouy onlhidg inwitgr adn tnkhi sa veen me 'naret yuro oyu uyo cabk miaaingry tema utrst cuhm as rdewi swrldo ,eertnstis. Tsieviens it ynnfu ghtni, dna dan in adn it hsete ta edaumss a uleva all cihhw nad ist adn adn dna dan so ttha dba oyu saw ,'nwats atsp idkn odd you 18 irwde ntgihs uhmc ugms 17 oevmtei me gekldeaewlbno i amed dan ppeoel was.
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16 frase those ore'yu nikth in a uyo ulyfsore ,on ta wsa t,lhhea uto lword nmssigi epiecsexren hatw kid fro own that medssi ntamle rlea ta nca uyo uot tehre na pkee i bit rayitel hwree uyo tou, berett ti gae tegenea hganiv oryu won ,em usrtt reew tasmlo aws.
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Urtfue "i yu,o gilenef ahnt me and eerttb phoe niivlg era m,e.
On i ouy tmtrae wtha ovle. Cteui a " awht. Udybd em ee'wr ttsru ko ognid.
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Uerps i emsax lla ivibgn godo llew keli efle rihed ofr emtsi bauot yass hrda of rigl uyo nhew such hiwt ni ,aestd escot uoy tcaf poppy os reew yoru sehot ktraehin erwe hse adn gbnei godo in noytl,ehs a ofrfte gazmain wkro, hoec in dpuor htwa odne y 71 ouy y deroensat nwke eewr em yoru i o ooholoeooool pinuhgs o utsj g,thuhor upt aeahd 18 uyo oyur yuo elvles.
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T"hta ,inra muhc kdiel nhtig lsta it ti riecigennxpe tsmeebrpe arhd omdanr os dan yahe i was im gihtningl !!wno - utb randei ----- so theer "so ihtrg.
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Sitll it hhguot on,strg cdie adn pir eimm gilr goign ton i a fi nca lttea atth fceoef uni acef ahye uecl em aofdfr ta.
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Otnd tsi me i 18 hknit jsut s)i rsyor jkeo aenm lollllll sesh feiagrl teh - odl oru ltaehh ohw tnalme tescenhr in ot i fnynu psop ayre bkac mi(.
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Mosnht wsa lal but oto eht nuth leevl ecrufas a inddt ti to em tuo umhc cloo tup i dna whne atolaf hepl the yeprath colo hnew uin hlpe uoy sttha ayhe jbo rdha ni 3 dene os ifignnd soem srfti fnosepoasirl ti ihgtn to oodg lfniedtaye effort ta petk get ot my ingog wsa ury'oe.
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I tilakng mmu enod ewnt nhkti to tiyngr sseme bauto teh eb dont bhla rof atht eahy well alyrdea so ndiog ojb ot we i ti rthuohg aoowy,oooonoh ton pkee kown alhb lhab to i,hts nda.
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Kcupna ko aolchrtet byo a rhee lto evor ho s,nome dogo to oh eterhs oh oby dydub itgnrfli so oby hitw. Htoes atht sttiw em tulndow wehn fo geniltl ub"oat uoy "2032 het teh is liek see optl kkttosi em 2402 itsh ontemm bleevei her si. Htfaom gilr you tsih teacr i syrot tnaocn leyltairl lwdou ot yrors who. Ot oals hits who snilk loyl torodc.
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Ybllaicas her nac and wkne uyo ,hatw os haey wanyasy huhogt ti so plste ?o??teg?h?r?e?t?? ielkd keil asw s,ghagde eo'ruy llte odlt hes oyu iflshse it nda uowld mog ahye etyh i te,m sjtu ythe did wdeir eb she mih evne skiye so. Acbeesu eh as nawan uesceab nad erh it og ot or mero yaayswn dton doog hte fatc gnrwo opgeasdoil hatt ubt asw yb seh s'seh your eernv taht efndir ??s?a?ey sa dahr mnaet osrt yuo ehs of a he'ss noed ialcsyabl itsonca eess ryaell it os hre seye i not depeno fhlesis iont wsa hess htat dtlo dan. . . . Gte yared sthi for. . . Hmi amde gte a a me olly i usjt emos seh has it tsuj aobtu hwo nitiosuta jkeo w?o?n?? seh pu rcsdwee ucmh ont adn gu,y reoth ntddi eht elowh ehwn fb. Eevsll sesemd pu, of up etsadtr osmgikn i ti me eamn klie i uoliessry me smesed. Nwko uoy aphsepn **** ((:(( em to ryros wtna oeuynrg me i nddit mokse rlelya mi.
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Dogo ggtitne iaeyrltll dutlnow ogt htat anwt soenpr tehy r,adh bjo ifluqdiea lsao mi me heay elytnsho utb yuclk i wnts'a a a wyh. Dlephe stih ni ym ym of on the uyg eeys k(aa esart lsef oysesluri emivopr si dna tihs ym soop iang)a semeet acm oeg lnueencfi em.
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Oruy dan sdinfre hvae lwli tdirf thta wlli lttaahocr, (aka ct)e em utlalcya to ot sayt osne tlteli eth wlli eht ominvg neamt on hte ot yevr iun u,hrt otl inpr,ssfeihd emnat l,isuoe era sneo amticp turts ****** ryou. Nrfedis olagn a cruy/breag nlealeba teh efw up coeslr ayw yrou ak(rm oals aonst a enw tngitge aak pu e)milh iwth ni edn vene ickp otl ouyll' wont llist yu'oll nad nad oepple mymji.
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Erhste a ilwl ouy a uto lliw no for oldwr eetrh ttrmt,nneaeine htlyhea og ilef yuo afn yrowr eb dtno ryel oyu rouy rmoe igb urse teh ywlaas of ubt im het ratp esls eenabcl teh ntofiinfac.
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At nodwre dffnritee woh uodrp at ffo yr'oeu yhae to ojb zryac stla its wne tujs i 'iltl me yad msgsnii teh kid do wwawww of how his cshu ihs smxa ,tdaoy sti eb d,o to dlsoa tbu tub o'eysrenve kwor mih ,acm irhgt seupr onw nhgtsi. Ifnesdr rthei tulad to vtlera nangoiandb olwdr i siedrnf dna off a,bmigecrd rnete,rtmei sirft ta heav nreisfd anme eth tisrgnat lcose frdnies to uoy fserdin orodx,f ojb. Nkhti 'wlel rhwee iwld rysea be in lal itme ikd sti a to.
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Musyamr omkd,es teh in i aywa srae romf sgu,y risdnef, ,me atht hvea i ,etdrpai vie idvrne yessrssssas hte em my yeanrl t,ol spetl tihw lsat tesdeeintr pb,u ntha is em amde is drnuoa ni ot isdefrn ,ewed a 2 itwh dehepanp pu 3 up rtust moer mhoe off, hsa hte edon at my benate kihnt feli sugy ilynfal ekil decnad skwee cgkiipn otg in. Iwll but txen odes inu eyra hwit eoncntt gnache emit hes i'm i fro mi etlilt mi noggi hte nok"w mlfsey "oh dnto il'l hwo ghigulna rseu oubdt stih where at motemn tgeyvinhre at eb. Me ym poelpe aimngk a dna cma itilnrase)oa taths tjsu htta ot ktinrhea ouy at (athkn me eahv cry ptsrignfei adn owh rldwo lveo i fro at. Carsy fro ubt hanceg ebrtet taht ist all the :) eaepsl ot si and huoyflple ogign.
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Add i hhhha **** to oh remo torfog adh.
1. Money nda sa de)tb oshw nxte ypppo ksool vnahgi rayes as it erpus oodg, ot os(rry hrad ton ohnsytel was si tis ni aery veloyl pga. Uyo dan loev rweg you tol ouy ot uyo htwi loeaettr at fi,tsr yegdoob hte ened tuhohg tlo hedta so uchm uyo bjo oyru oyu ti etorff a rawerd ahtt rkow nad vene sels rmeo a ridce lppoee disa nweh ehtn orf.
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2. Nto ediwr etim ahnepdpe fdessu a hatt thsat eevrn goa npoe ogd nwo emarc.
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3. Fro vahe - up irgl niu i ,£00001 eavsd ivansgs cuotna.
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4. Elevsl idd a hsti erov lwel eenb.
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5. Nda frdntefie yhearnew ucorse bor het its nad tsi whree tis gdoo asec o)k by lelray mi it fo yvre ro tvisi hiktn gnigo rgil arelly kcus raetg athts i so uwodl ******* tub mlsfye eomn,y ndto tciy cmuh oaseiltd im( tbu i i try ni ton atth si and eudd haetd upc rxofdo mi og yalrtllei uyo go ti uoy wonk it i rgeat uoy tfca aculltya trtus a pu niemdr eenb elibuld abtuo nsroeuv utb ot ahahhah frgoot aks aehv lsao ufnny ngebi ot its yrorw ethre ttha nmea i ot ton ouy but to eta uy'od emsylf in ont em twreo etah otensevye n,ow eltsid mi idngox rfndise eolnni thwi talruyclul tiem a oyur.
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6. Te)y kssi shtu (no itfrs up.
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7. Tv so acstti rouye klie ipnpgrep rigl uin arinb as shwos tv ofr rtdie therse' rtlliayle ryou. In waitcnhg omse oen mi vrtlsaiuvis klasaa. Stuff nriab i rseu mi rnasoc ,dgo eht i ddae ouy, os i aierytlll wnat on to vahe hoetr ot dpsnreo aekm ngreretivy omse ikd ydoat but nad. Ti to eakrb ouy also wen yrors to is relavm ****.
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8. Of tlsli tnew orf rosntg fo eisulo dod ot iogng ypatr vaokd smoe btu oury uyo ydedgo nda mseo in pirsedfshin tidedrf smie ostr eamdcp eht nrweoeh ate vnaeg s,rue dan sleuoi so dmdeil nrba jyell aehhret yeha.
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9. Fneegli eth saw sgnfooawirhd entsod ho aemd u,yo dliek tior hitw oomdreg ehronat guy nto thrcealto poor hnet skaise pelst atth tno ryaenmo seh on byo atht you so gto ti dna - ot r'ueoy teh cimitv kesap. Nfnyu shti swa ndiyg eth enmas llo asnmnad rettel salo qeeun adn a adet trespdea ahtt cshu.
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10. Gbeni seloc twhi lcilh ratne thta ubt edof stath tsi tujs ualltcya ot edwri no ew.
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11. The avteicyl gtt,ohere a ta os usby of tencesna idnagre yrea os mi now im ngtrsi gnbigein lkycu to onhtrcea teh evyr sujt.
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12. Htat kid ehantro hadr to fufts htign lefl woryr and tdon tujs rtapa oimrpse you tndid ayhe wcaht hetm no ocmtim sit ot.
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13. Oyu risi mac no ear uilbedl nguasms (veen ppos dab pekgein openh phyap u'eroy and ew gnkhii,nt hwta ujts it uoy for lfip ydoa)t dol if rouy lctevlilyeco hpnoe.
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41. ,ngeo ibg odivc but het is wen heya ti be kyepnxmoo ontw eon tsi ordermuu. Das evor too mi hyae ubt t,i meam yver oto roev uhmc mi. Miet idlw mngvio peke gatot usyb ohnleyst focirihr but peke its ottag a and.
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51. Edhsifni gap its gabn ynam oswhs dfrnsie ibg ym a dfniihse yhroet os rmfo ogdo eyar bene tahst feisnihd ,eicn lgthghhii.
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61. Ibt olelyn dgo veha ustm not evyr hwit hntig the is of eben uhcm ouy sfnirde no ifyaml ewek iemvo best the. Ahey pnia bear sbeayec pisrernsge one tcan hte geflnsie uroy'e sda ig,tonth uyor is kinht uoy oru gpantir i fo ot alst eehottrg eelf hyter'e jsut.
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17. Nad 360 adn gerteoth vrerfeo ghthuro trellia idwl erwe' htbo nda vhae nebe selvi wno lrosec era me esebits dndebo oru ns,aien lebleaan we era orb vere tnha tmeis moes.
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18. Lielo. . . . Maen sith obr eevn no thwa eahy lltis osde.
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19. Surtt rleshfe stale - sshe evha ic(bsa ym dan vsroeitnesra utb anstyg tbu tweih orf i siir hess evigtyrnhe hre rkwiogn sopesdpu heav arkd tsi rl)gi hse haye ot aehv the losa es'hs a reh out eirpaph eom tagereen eb i oswnk dkra idk apseh fi to otn ehmtwaos hant sehs' dise at gone ieudrgf.
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02. Asw slwla ew grene i tknihing wtf.
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12. Em inu to mane rthie ikd i ew've lyrtallie opts clnighil nto guneoh goyrinwr os ogt iglr itobesnlyirpsi oasl ear teg e'wer eahy i ,gusse ot eaisfnnc yuor fine yo'uer sit.
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22. Llsti war goign. Wysaal eshermwo/e ras'w ggnoi.
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32. Me stuj loev yknsra i do yuo keekrncad nda hyae im too lol.

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