A letter from Sep 05, 2022

Peaceful right?

OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ------ New Questions (5/9/22) how was the gap year???? i know working was probs hard and stress BUT think of all that money and experience. did you book/go on that dream trip to crema? I know it seems super expensive - maybe just maybe talk to mum about financing it a bit - your dream of cycling round the Italian countryside deserves to come to fruition HOW'S THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT!!! you are working so hard on it right now - actually keeping up w/ your goal - its at £228 right now - pretty cool :) How did A Levels go? i really wouldn't ask but i think you will do well - i know I always say I don't believe in myself but i think i am actually pretty smart hehe OMG OMG OMG WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO UNI!!!! HOW WAS THIS NOT MY FIRST QUESTION? DID YOU MIRACULOUSLY GET INTO OXFORD LOL, OR SHEFFIELD, YOU LOVE SHEFFIELD, MAYBE EDINBURG, THEY DO A SUPER GOOD YEAR ABROAD SCHEME, awww whatever/whevever you go, make the most of it. love life... do i dare ask... finally get that first kiss yet??? if not that's ok, we're working on it :))) what tv are you watching right now? so many shows so little time lol. oooh how are the new marvel movies - last one that came out was love and thunder (mid) and ms marvel (amazing!!!) you still addicted to iced coffee lol please tell me your keeping in touch with louise and heather - you need them, they are really good friends ohhhh and Kassie and Charles!!! please tell me you kept in touch! I'm seeing them next week, we're watching The Sandman together and maybe the dofe lot - they are lovely - perhaps a yearly ice skating thing? i hope you still read a lot - it is super cool - hopefully you've had more time because you're not at school OMG DID YOU WATCH ALL THE MOVIES ON THE MOVIE POSTER IN YOUR ROOM - YOU AND DAD ARE SO EXCITED TO START IT! did you get that funky samsung flip phone? is covid totally gone by then? its not really a thing anymore but it still feels weird to think about. i still cant get over how i lost 2 years to sadness, how i could have been enjoying my family time, and exploring new things. i don't like to dwell on the past but i will be eternally sad for all the pain emma caused me - i am so glad i got out of that friendship have you and mum and dad and sister finished watching big bang theory yet - you're on season 4 right now! YOU BETTER STILL DO FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT! THOSE ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE WEEK, NOT THAT YOU WOULD EVER ADMIT THAT i hesitate to ask but are you still friends with Annabelle, she's changed so much... it's just more awkward now... i don't think we'll ever be proper freidns again, that makes me sad ollie... just no. i hope iris is doing better - she deserves to be happy did you paint the walls of your room green? that was the dream! how hard was winter 2022 financially? mum and dad are looking nervous, talking about shutting off the heating to save money talking of that, is the war in ukraine over? is russia giving us gas again? i hope you're enjoying life just a bit more, baby steps, think of how far you have come since 2020 i love you idiot :))))))

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Eth eneb eevr bisetgg oyhl **** iarllaysdct liek ym ybbaorpl tjsu lwil 'iev ge,hacn ogrhhtu neghca flei rteine uin. Hte em itstws to adn hmcu no atht sepke eth ldowr tolp how curco fo azrcy ustj nnsaie urinnt,g tunmao sti. Rodpnes feel i ilek osdhul ok a fwe i utoeiqsns ot.
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Oelhw iysrme glir im odl raylel nsoo orughth all nad rsory, it hnappe my in em to ollngwaiw uyo ym rwoth lfei syuforle just ni it as tcaf noti to sopt ggnio uyo as gets eet,tbr nedext ,elvo uoy i were strtas 61 it so oyru eyra slfyi,rt lefs, tutrs. Sdehy pitsud si htkni fo earf usrtt dna oloerc nsoo ldouw mi tarts me ouy uoy rfo aawy uoy, to ilysl adn nad sa vhae nese pceierxsnee as yaw neop rlediase rofm reeoyven i as veha uyo oaudrn bneig just as pu ahtn sa hatt i slee uloonc. Nad dan eftlerc eeppol rooznihs ndexpa rowg nad ak(a veyr hiwt oyu eth nampirtot blubbe stju yuo are erom kbca rheh,yriac eomsc elfi nad gihh 61 raiut,ytm ta sssobdee aler nto dose roem oyru sl)hoco tslli hsit eth ohnalmro emti tniy the srclice is eliesar htiw wreeh pu ipyoautplr olsa.
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Agistrnt i adn onkw losa fgruei as ianag w/ in im tmei **** sure eegedr eenvr cscilass a isth reay ienlnag h)haa you wlheo ntgereirgt eiamd be not( acnegh atht nad dan e'vi i'llt all hylihg wdhcetsi bit ralnjuioms hcecio twoasrd my - im texn etrelt im lto ythisro utb uot a nnitcioucmoma ot ot ihmgt my my.
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Ybso trpeyt enbidh hyae gn,iissk iel nigog to stlli - ig,tdna re'ew tno bro. Uoy obj sa tyr typter seyki ahey gibne odse pu deta and to sd'a hewn a sgluprisinuyn os grow chidl a oorp. Lhdos is know ubt ignth ti ltlsi cmuh knaimg now, ryosr ouy it ekosj diwl a acbk dba i how neev si ousyielsr. Nboyed vahe i ot thta aetslb tath im dapute oredwk nda eb 2520 tbeetr tyeprha payhp wsne tgimh rdfaai i utb adn a oll in teh or sihw dha reo'uy tpianlrihseo a. What im fro sretce rpodu epusr uoy tobau uyo ot os of rygacirn gnol too nourad <3 'eyovu ddi lelt did you, eh mum eenb ayw ttah.
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Roem oyu ko hsatt tey'ehr hseasp eyvr ishnmidi yuro ilstl orem kwon gte neretega be ifel ym tslil im my seru trbeet stap a eolv oitn ypahp htiw hohtug but uinncflee n,wo as in tog vene bsuy ehapss eusnaatrprlu outab eht ibrassgneme i,t orieanihptls a abhwoktrc 1f a roe'uy !ok!! cuhm rof fo nda oedsppus nygric ym i im 'sti 'oueyv urbltm i to liwl dna mroe snaor,e.
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Vlbeeie ok to gnogi sthi tno egliri 'oruye. . . . Kstco ttha easbb eht at eht eitrd f'ocesfe uoy lla or,fm uyo ectos lecpa yealrltli lesvesh tmeh korw yaeh yv'eou on. . . . Itstw ahha olpt. Vhae em egt utb y 'di het stoce job ,rcy sa i atht 'tnod gdoin otnmnei 16 odsdirneec noto ta erhe o ew eb l'lew dah ttha ltare) ym mi odelv a,re 91 'vie ni gnostikc chum ogd wduol sehvsel tsfri razyc so ahtw tesco eahy nithk ot tbauo a ylesohtn ubt ew letr!te! o(h evre at.
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Yirgamian yuor eenv as hmcu and a'rnte dwire mate bkac ouy adriegn rtitsesen, as osdrwl ldgiohn rutts ouy oury riwting inhkt em. Aw'nt,s avule at me dan ausmsde 71 adb dan a taht ni gums ighnt, and cmuh gishtn swa ti leleagkwdebon tsi ppoeel dan os kdin apst was and eieotvm eadm adn lla ddo oyu diwer nad unynf nda i shete 81 adn ti neeivstis icwhh ouy.
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Hntik o,n can alre ngeeeta out, naltem smeids peke he,tahl tmlaso atwh ghaivn ibt csinepeerxe 16 yuro ega ewre i own afsre oyu aws ouy it ni uto taht wereh a atriyle strut e,m ta eerht an uto was tsoeh at dik efysrluo eebrtt e'oyur oyu nwo ismsnig for wodlr.
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Thna eftuur em o,uy trtbee poeh fgeeinl em, "i nad iligvn aer.
Atwh ouy i lvoe tmaret no. Ueitc a " tahw. Igdno yudbd e'ewr ok me utsrt.
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Ordup eoch o ngieb ahade foetfr oryu uoy gnizmaa good ecsot eamsx nad kr,ow done elevls 71 ni of wtha ourhg,th uyo ehs y yass wnhe ilek o lgir ypopp uoy doog imset efel y weer 81 ihwt a nkew rewe os uoyr ucsh yuo lla ni em btoau hikenart hdire llwe taes,d deraenost hpsginu orf tujs uyo in tsheo your spure ngivib reew i fact lhtyeon,s oeolhooloooo put i ahrd.
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Dliek ucmh nlighgtni rendai nepnceexiirg ubt ronadm trehe nda was ti adhr so im so tnihg i o"s satl iran, - rtghi !n!ow ehya "atth stperembe it -----.
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Ta fardfo ceoeff ton onrgs,t acn hatt nggoi aettl ecaf ehay fi it me lcue iglr dna nui a irp cedi emim oghhut still i.
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81 essh (im - sit eman uor mntlea )si creetshn opsp inhkt in nnyfu i kacb dol gflarie who rsryo oekj eyra to ehtalh i teh dnto llolllll me tjus.
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Esom tpek a uthn ot ihtng ta ure'yo swa to oodg oloc loco so tuo but ti rtfis in i pehl too leisopsrnoaf onhtms haye job inu eden whne gte ewhn laftoa ptu ehtaypr satht daylifenet oftrfe the me het to adn hdar gogin lla 3 ouy nfdngii ti phel erfsuca chmu evell ym aws tdndi.
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Ot dgion alryead atoub peke ellw ton eyah ot taht ahlb i tnklgai obj os ew het tdno wnte hnkti dan messe ahlb h,ist rignty houghtr ti alhb kwno i be fro mmu ot nedo oyoowhaonooo,.
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Ho dyubd cerlatoht ot olt erhtse here knupac eovr a ybo wtih ybo yob ok ritiglfn ho mso,ne godo ho so. Is em fo unodtlw eviebel ehnw "2230 4220 het emtonm lkei etosh that ees hre ihts ktotski eitglln teh butoa" otlp uoy em tiwts si. Osrty i woh rytlillae dulow ncnota htamfo uyo to cetra girl hsit roysr. Kisln hits odotrc owh lylo ot lsao.
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Seyki her 'ueyro veen so idd eb teyh enwk i wt,ha uoy yahe rdiwe ehs can ssfihle iekl tlle hsgdge,a yeht tem, uyo awnasyy she so mih ???tr?gtho??e??e? aws ti dan ablacslyi oldt ghhuto and haye ti sujt so lidek lstpe lwdou ogm. Eopned ifenrd sese ilacsbaly sehs ttah seh gsipdoloea was oden naostci nnawa it metna dna was ernve tbu adn a owrng nsyywaa sielhfs ro hte erh dton sseh' sa noti mero ??s??eya ctfa he syee esecbua hre otrs os dtol royu nto to rhda hes ti go by asubcee ouy ss'eh that i as dogo fo raylle hatt. . . . Rfo htis teg darye. . . Ont wn???o? a i sah up abtou g,yu a ojek wrescde imh hte uaintstoi bf she em jtus trhoe dmae loyl weohl get ustj ohw uchm adn ti osme ewnh nitdd esh. Settrda veells osgnmik i em leysirosu it fo i emessd mena ,up up leki ssdmee me. Yegnuro em msoke mi wnko to eppahns i me atnw nidtd ysror **** layler you ((:((.
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Utb heya yetlalrli dwotnul otg olas ogdo atth im d,hra spreon wn'tas i want idfiequla a teggint boj yhw kcuyl me yeth oyetsnlh a. Nda fo gyu meseet ym oiyrsules evirpmo ospo self ni rtase lephed nieelfucn amc hsti htis in)aga a(ka em ym no the eog eyse ym is.
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Rtidf lliw evha ot eyrv nad eht uni )ect etmna yats lwil ruyo ****** htat llwi hte rndfsie perisnifd,sh ,iolesu to rea rttsu no lto ruh,t eson yrou em ,tcalohrta oens eth cpatmi a(ak ovingm ot uallytca iltlet mneat. Blaalnee ntwo i)hmle ul'oyl wen royu tgitgen osrecl a ni ewf end up eeoplp lsao kcpi nad 'llyuo infesdr htiw ru/gerbcya rm(ka imjym enve wya up and tol the tslil aak onlag a tsnao.
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Fo uoy eth ylsaaw infanioftc no afn yuo hseert wrryo ryuo reom tbu slse nodt tlahhye a eurs dolrw the llwi teh ilef go orf mi illw eerht uyo eb eyrl otu enteriat,nmnet gib eacbnel trpa a.
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Boj btu cma, wwwaww ot gthri d,o nwo alst pruse at mxsa of btu sih ,otdya idk rdopu tighns igmnsis t'ill teh do rwko be woh its ihs snev'reeoy at tsuj owh eoryu' tsi aycrz off nwe i neodwr sdalo em ot iefdrtenf chus imh day aehy. Obj teh m,acrbidge rodwl rihte veah grisantt neam nad i tevral ftsir firnsde to laudt ocels ensfdir oyu ot ndsrefi ierttmn,eer rsfedni angnbidnao nisferd ta ,xfodor ffo. Its kdi saery all el'lw ot a in nhikt eb lidw hrwee miet.
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Em ym wseke 3 ,skdome edwe, ehpaednp my emda a anryle ,lto teh rti,pade yaaw sfer,idn ithw ug,sy onde aetbne noarud ash eidnrsf pu ormf ehmo in ive peslt rneesditte ihntk hte tnah sturt up ot slta ikel drienv i ni srssaseysss vaeh elfi sguy ff,o uysrmma is i si wthi ni ,me me cadend b,up eras htta otg cgpiink emro eth at 2 yaiflln. Tub het 'ill tenx "wnko i enmomt im' seur hes at erwhe dsoe eoctntn uni budto smylef ggnio thiw ngailghu isht dnot o"h orf iwll at eb woh raey emit eenytgrvih gnhcea ietllt im im. Thta lepoep woh iatenkhr you ofr kna(ht ryc tatsh tujs i a em kmniag ta vhae cma dan oldwr nad elov to ym ta )lirenasaoit em esfigirtnp. Selpea sacry ubt ofr aehgcn hte etrtbe hatt oplehyufl sit si dna :) inogg to lla.
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Ot ho remo gofrot hhhha hda dad i ****.
1. Aery oemny aws otn wosh e)tbd and gvnahi in ooslk extn ot hoyntles sit it repus (ysorr elovyl ryaes poppy as sa og,od gap is radh. Lot ,fitsr oygebdo ojb when mero adn rdeci uoy htghuo veen dwrear a hnte wrko twhi rwge ndee ot umch it adsi so yuo lto you uoy atht uyo uoy pleope ta eovl orf aehtd tffroe a sesl lrtaoete oury het nad.
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2. Nreev hdapepne acrem itme goa tahst now god ton fudess rdiew enpo tath a.
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3. Rfo savde - nvgsais aehv nui lrgi 10000,£ unotac up i.
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4. Did been ewll shit eorv vleles a.
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5. Bro go on,w herew dna or afct rtehe etowr ondt og nioenl mtei thea a gftoor ni xrdfoo tbu nda lcaluaty i i ngeib gxodin oodg btu tbu ouy sak nktih ryella it thtsa mi layrel tsi sfelym rilg pu i ttah is to yb tub mnredi hatt hatde kusc you ot eacs liudble eenb yrlulalctu to tno ouy ytr ni i ti iyct it fo tis ,onmey (im nto dfrsnei nveoyetes the hcmu istiv wdluo oyu im sronvue reyv i lileatylr atobu wthi royu tesdil im o'duy oeursc veha ynnfu ist owkn ddeu eynraehw oingg tno eta dna me oasl dfienreft aemn asoitedl upc ywrro eagrt ahhahah tutsr a ot )ok tsi tgera msyfle os *******.
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6. Sfirt sski pu on( stuh te)y.
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7. Nrbia so for yoru nui uryoe ppnigepr terid vt leik llirtayle sa ittasc vt esh'etr lgir sswoh. Im one esmo svvsaurtlii hntaicwg in sakala. Liylralet on ehtor odg, ftfus het epdorns im awtn meak rbnia kid daed i esru aydto renyirgevt so but heav smoe i to u,oy to adn i rscona. Ti ot ewn **** oyu rekab to rrsoy rvamel is asol.
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8. Odd meis ntwe seloui anbr ledmid you ahye rsto rof smeo osrtng eht idihprefsns of eowhren ,seru ingog llsit gneva emos rahehet yuro tae to esouil adn edftrid yedogd tbu pdmeac yljle ni os rtapy dokva of nda.
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9. Gyu eltps oedogrm o'eyur swa it ldiek ihwt the skpae gfinele otri oby ot nda - poor trnaeho no uoy esh hetn got tohleract oh edma imitvc maryone hatt dostne nto uy,o os the tno hatt dhsonofrgiaw isaesk. Laos nad hte lol asw mnndasa enuqe taed epreatsd nydgi hsit hcus htat ettrle ufnyn aenms a.
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01. We tsi hatt riewd ceosl ubt tulyaalc on enigb jtus narte llcih eodf ahtts to htwi.
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11. Mi veyctila so to etancnes eth rdngeai hte a strgin erya won so eyrv ggeinbni ehtrgeo,t mi fo utsj buys ykcul etnrahco at.
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21. Tond hrad ttah tdidn tsuj its adn ot tchwa tapar aehy no omitcm kid efll night tmhe ot ompiesr oyu tnohare yorrw futfs.
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13. Plfi cam fi ew uoy dlo risi vee(n ppos stuj adn you lliyecvcolet for bad k,ginhitn your hpnoe )aodyt pkieegn wtah on rea edbillu ti apyhp asmguns o'yrue ohpne.
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14. Wne big eogn, haye be but it hte oicvd si sti ekoynoxmp eon rreudmuo otwn. Im too im ubt rveo eryv oot amme i,t rove sda cumh ahye. Mite hicoirrf tsi ldiw tatog ovginm keep tylohnse epke and busy gttao a utb.
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15. Idhifens rnesfdi amny eenb oogd reay ym so pga nfsiedih a ihlghhgti hsatt omrf igb snedhifi osswh eni,c yertho sit agbn.
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16. Veyr oivem hte of ihntg ustm ebne tbi keew otn si esbt afyiml haev ogd no oyu defsinr wiht eht umch yonlel. Apitgnr you ebra khitn si otnhg,it asd yeha of uyore' rouy one i byaeces egpsirrsen efle tusj pain neeifsgl uor tcna te'hrye hte to ottehegr astl.
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71. 063 veer voerefr oesclr nda rob vlies teeissb are liwd oesm alnebeal leairlt me hnta ohbt re'we hvae adn mtsie hhtrugo otgreeth enbe ednodb now n,sinea we aer dan rou.
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81. Oleil. . . . Sdeo bor shit vene amne htaw eayh tslil on.
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19. Rgkwoni my wmotesah tou snokw sh'se tlaes ta hsse rephiap ont gone i but her nretegae sturt to ayeh tis the ievghtenyr be whiet i she s(baci erh if but uesdpops pseah dkar ofr ikd a aygtsn reontsvarsei nda sh'es )rlig aosl heav ome irsi frgudei - sdie evha sesh anht to avhe rkda reefhsl.
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20. Awlls i eengr wsa wtf we hingnikt.
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12. Cnhillgi cfneiasn nmae reoyu' ywirrogn bnsiiileprytso ot tge royu oasl e,susg we'er rlig tiehr yealirtll i haey nui ghueon opst em i idk ist ton os 'vewe are ot got einf.
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22. Ngigo war slilt. Nggoi eoemh/wrse swalay wr'sa.
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23. Aekedrknc oll i ykanrs you me evlo too hyae sutj dna do im.

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