A letter from Sep 05, 2022

Peaceful right?

OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ------ New Questions (5/9/22) how was the gap year???? i know working was probs hard and stress BUT think of all that money and experience. did you book/go on that dream trip to crema? I know it seems super expensive - maybe just maybe talk to mum about financing it a bit - your dream of cycling round the Italian countryside deserves to come to fruition HOW'S THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT!!! you are working so hard on it right now - actually keeping up w/ your goal - its at £228 right now - pretty cool :) How did A Levels go? i really wouldn't ask but i think you will do well - i know I always say I don't believe in myself but i think i am actually pretty smart hehe OMG OMG OMG WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO UNI!!!! HOW WAS THIS NOT MY FIRST QUESTION? DID YOU MIRACULOUSLY GET INTO OXFORD LOL, OR SHEFFIELD, YOU LOVE SHEFFIELD, MAYBE EDINBURG, THEY DO A SUPER GOOD YEAR ABROAD SCHEME, awww whatever/whevever you go, make the most of it. love life... do i dare ask... finally get that first kiss yet??? if not that's ok, we're working on it :))) what tv are you watching right now? so many shows so little time lol. oooh how are the new marvel movies - last one that came out was love and thunder (mid) and ms marvel (amazing!!!) you still addicted to iced coffee lol please tell me your keeping in touch with louise and heather - you need them, they are really good friends ohhhh and Kassie and Charles!!! please tell me you kept in touch! I'm seeing them next week, we're watching The Sandman together and maybe the dofe lot - they are lovely - perhaps a yearly ice skating thing? i hope you still read a lot - it is super cool - hopefully you've had more time because you're not at school OMG DID YOU WATCH ALL THE MOVIES ON THE MOVIE POSTER IN YOUR ROOM - YOU AND DAD ARE SO EXCITED TO START IT! did you get that funky samsung flip phone? is covid totally gone by then? its not really a thing anymore but it still feels weird to think about. i still cant get over how i lost 2 years to sadness, how i could have been enjoying my family time, and exploring new things. i don't like to dwell on the past but i will be eternally sad for all the pain emma caused me - i am so glad i got out of that friendship have you and mum and dad and sister finished watching big bang theory yet - you're on season 4 right now! YOU BETTER STILL DO FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT! THOSE ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE WEEK, NOT THAT YOU WOULD EVER ADMIT THAT i hesitate to ask but are you still friends with Annabelle, she's changed so much... it's just more awkward now... i don't think we'll ever be proper freidns again, that makes me sad ollie... just no. i hope iris is doing better - she deserves to be happy did you paint the walls of your room green? that was the dream! how hard was winter 2022 financially? mum and dad are looking nervous, talking about shutting off the heating to save money talking of that, is the war in ukraine over? is russia giving us gas again? i hope you're enjoying life just a bit more, baby steps, think of how far you have come since 2020 i love you idiot :))))))

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Etreni begsigt hte lyoh lliw jtus nui ym thhorug ca,heng ilfe enbe **** cghean erev trisydalalc elki lboyprba vi'e. Nda tnrung,i chum eekps how atnmuo eth nsiane sswitt yarcz ot sti em roldw just no lopt tath courc teh of. Lhdosu oesndrp ietsosuqn few i ko a elfe ot klei i.
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Odl otni in weer bt,reet lal uoy ot el,fs ifle rsymie my it eusrylfo 61 os uoy ti dan yr,osr lgir i ustj my sa uryo torwh cfta psot srttu ot ti mi tsrl,fyi tdenex year as onos uyo wlheo egts lngwiaolw rlyela ev,ol in oingg urghtho asttrs em epanph. You rstta up me oons taht dna vnyreeoe nad eens sa ntkhi iledrsea si wodlu jstu ofr sliyl ywa adn uoy dseyh oadnru sa sele thna ,ouy veha tupisd ocloer pone ouy as ounolc risxecnepee to i ormf frae of gneib evah sa sttru as im i yaaw. Hitw hizoorsn 61 bbuelb a(ka pyruioplta siht rwehe rela l)shcoo slao gwor pinmtraot arsieel sjut iersccl ectfrel adnexp ta tiyn teh teh hwti aer dna uary,mtti uyo orem yerv pu gihh ,yichreahr dan ietm lslit osecm cbak lpopee si elif omer uoy ton deso ruyo dna hte aoronmhl sbsdesoe dna.
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Greede eitm hlwoe mi - ot i eb ngaia reegtrntig tlerte loas agcnhe uoy a ym **** as uiamctionnmoc lla cthsewid ton( xetn tinsargt mi )aahh my adn ttha eurs ym nda itb odwrats ameid ni iyhhlg /w lenngai soitrhy uot tol a imtgh gieurf wonk rjsuianmol hits verne dan hcoeci vi'e llti' im yrae lccsssia but to.
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Ayhe igngo rew'e ot - obr ki,nsigs ile bsyo yettpr ton dnt,gai listl nbdeih. Ads' ilusynguspnri a treytp and date dose so ytr newh pu uyo eayh ropo iebgn yskie hclid ot wgro as ojb a. Ti wild a si yrosr gmkian adb hwo wnko dlhos cakb tghin is sltli cmuh won, eevn it i jseko ouy uiseryosl tbu. Ot tbu hpayp ahd eb hnstrloeaipi i bynedo teh trbete htat wkeord lol beaslt in gtmhi aafrid a a mi dna tadupe tepyrha vhae atht i whis wens 5220 nda ro r'youe. Oruadn yrcraign did idd <3 oyu vy'uoe to mum whta etll ebne too he sercte ongl ywa ouy rof pures uatbo ahtt upord of so mi yuo,.
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Sniidmih reus o'reyu uyo i ovel f1 now, sa sitll utb whti liwl mi ogt of luuanrrastep egntaree nliehrasotip efil ti, a reyv evne het gcyinr btuao i eshspa rasoe,n in 'ueyov my seodpspu huthog eb eetbtr niot ysbu ok!!! ym dna nresibemasg ok tburlm a wonk eomr ot pahpy nda thsta satp rhy'eet ctbkhraow t'si ssapeh muhc tsill roem ym mi cnnulifee orf gte orem a royu.
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Oye'ur giogn ot hsit ko nto ligeir lieevbe. . . . Lla etmh mr,of you lltliyrea esbab ceots fef'esco 'yoevu teh rwok vshsele kctso hte you tdrie cplae ta hyea htat no. . . . Otlp haha iwtst. Vhsesle boj 'di tge ra)lte srift sa rvee (oh yhea nithk etcos i y em rcyaz hlnesoty eerdnocids atth botau heva we c,ry htat we ldvoe v'ie umch eb im awth het ngdoi god entomin my ahd 19 tbu a ulowd erhe ot utb ta o 61 onot elwl' odtn' so ar,e sgnkitoc ta cetos in el!tet!r.
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As cakb eire,stnst gnwitri urstt em eartn' and ruyo yuor cmuh oyu edirw tnhki uoy as ilhndog nvee aarigynim etma edraing osdrwl. Tpsa em dna nda amed ddo teesh eppelo wired muhc 71 a gsmu and nda yunfn muesads so it ueval i hg,int 18 htta was nad kdni all uoy dna tsi kgwllaoeeenbd dba dan uoy dan 'wns,ta cihhw tiievsnse tsighn at wsa mioveet ni adn it.
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61 an stutr ti at alirety ta bti tou ssmedi a oyu kid pxirceeeens ega m,e acn hteer ordlw setho uyo ekep lrea ah,etlh enlatm asw uot euo'ry efrsa rfo atth ,no rewhe o,tu smginis onw nkthi i feluysor haignv awth ewre mastol tberet uoy egtenea ruoy in asw nwo.
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I" lfniege nda pohe ftureu ebtetr uo,y ,me era nhta vniilg me.
Ahwt i no ettmra oyu oelv. " a ceiut htaw. Dniog dbuyd ok em 'were turts.
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Rdoup naaizmg tihw oodg thaw nekw emsax a in ni i put heidr ectos dt,sae llwe you i ehots uoatb eilk wree 18 aaehd lal you she flee o haitkenr ahdr siemt hscu y setenraod gvibni orf ipusngh yuo lirg ypopp tyhsonle, weer eodn your uyo bengi ooollhoooeoo levlse actf heoc 71 k,rwo upesr in tsuj fo me syas oury uoy dna oruy enhw otffre so y o gdoo ewre rught,ho.
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Erthe ti uchm it so" giigntlnh os nridea ----- dan utb gihtr eeebtrspm !n!wo aeyh inreengxpice raodnm im slat a,nri arhd - so asw i gnthi tt"ah dkeli.
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Yeha feeofc if ta tlils me ont,sgr nda cied rip adfofr tleta nca i ggnio uni htgohu otn taht ecfa a ti lrgi mmie eulc.
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Osrry i tcrneesh ondt dlo thealh sti 18 oru i im( llllolll s)i fnuyn in joek nhtki ot woh em cabk lreafig nema eshs usjt tlnaem ayre the pops -.
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Eht ildfeeanyt ftaoal ocol uoy i lphe ptek ftorfe oto adrh ot it to wsa astht boj fuscera omse ogod it foaisrpeolns eedn lla but ellev ym os inu 3 cloo thun get ot uto me goign haye a e'uory wneh adn nhwe nthmos in hte tnidd utp at mchu frsit hlpe saw ryhpaet gntih infgidn.
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Ont ot be ot blha i we i nygitr gdnio rdlaaye ellw lahb hguhrto os klniatg eemss ntdo iktnh nda for it eth atth jbo wokn ehay mmu kpee ot tbuao ndoe hs,it blha aon,hooywoooo twne.
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Good oh esn,mo yob to byo shtere iwht fliignrt ko eoatlthrc boy rvoe a olt ho kanucp os here ho ddybu. Elki me of ewnh those rhe ouldtwn tlpo hsit 0"232 eth si oktitks is ese hte ntoemm "tobau ouy ngeltli ahtt beielve 2204 me sitwt. Tfaohm you osrry ntcona rysot to i ltialelry oduwl lirg owh atrec iths. Nslik ohw ot this otrodc lsao yoll.
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Ouhtgh adn nwke etyh yasnawy be odlwu ksyei him enve wired yuo adn tlel wsa did fsehsli ahye ,sghdage it ,hatw dtol utjs cna ptles i ehr eruoy' ilked so it ehs so tme, hse ouy os blisacayl htye eo????h????ttger? lkei mog heay. A 'shes os dna anwna of htat tanem rmoe onti lsfeshi ysee ryou by rhe catf oogd nodt ehs ot aws her yasawny atht shes ltdo eucaebs saw sees uyo eh s?e??ay? otn ti srto eevnr ti i noeepd sa and het go ro as iallsbcay fenrid eond ahtt hes csontai lreyla sbaucee tbu drah ognrw hs'se ledopiaosg. . . . Dyaer htsi ofr teg. . . Hucm dna ttaonsuii seh fb i ti loyl resdewc a adem otaub tidnd pu ash wehlo me g,yu ?o??n?w she gte trhoe sutj a not eth meos tujs owh ewhn hmi eojk. Velles aemn p,u eessdm emedss ssuleiroy me i pu nskimog me i liek of it derttas. Nuergoy know **** niddt ot me srryo i peasnhp you osemk im elrayl twan ((((: me.
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Iafdulqie good dnlwotu bjo haey utb a,dhr a tngeigt tgo that me htey im ryaelllit a sola ntwa hynetlos i hyw natw's yuckl senopr. Mpeovri si geo syee ni osop uoilesyrs kaa( my ygu eesmte edhpel hsit and flse cma het ym cnenflieu on my aiagn) teasr iths em of.
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Ak(a nmeat soen ac,orthtal nfises,prdih ot aulcylta rstut eht ot eyvr em lliw ,luesoi endisrf thta lwil ipamct ****** teh syat snoe )tec irdtf evha ear otl elttil vngoim mnaet rh,ut the on illw to dan ryou ryuo inu. Isllt nde teh pikc leoppe up owtn up 'lyolu otl a rocsle a uo'lly eevn awy neblalea nggetti m)ihel osla nsato aka and nda mkr(a mmjiy eubr/rgyac ni ruyo lgano ewf enw hiwt efsindr.
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Be shtere a het ehtre owlrd uyo anf tuo sesl odtn teh ouy will nclabee teh ubt rouy ,tntatenenimer mi wlil rley uoy go ibg user meor ratp of fro no a hhlyaet oyrwr ayaswl feil aftnncifoi.
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Hsi het ryzac irenfdfte ahye hwo at tasl upodr em nwoedr do shi ry'oeu eprsu btu bjo onw sodla sit d,ytao wwwwwa to hwo tbu xams cm,a fof him siinsmg ta i juts ll'ti d,o ewn fo to ihtgr sit vrso'yneee ikd yad itshgn be chus rokw. Altdu het mnae ta ithre bjo first to i olsec ehva idrsefn ffo rgmecadbi, eltrva ensdifr orwdl ouy nraistgt idersnf rtremeint,e ot sdenfir frsnied drxf,oo nad nnaonabidg. Lla kid to ni eryas a thikn teim tis be lwid rewhe llew'.
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Oemh drt,eipa ash ttha ni si tihw vrndei ffo, em ysgu dnhapeep evi ekswe 3 up yrsssasssse ehav ckiigpn audrno hnta hte teh eadm ot remo kdso,me f,nsride rmof eebatn my at 2 lkie me umysarm a ogt ni i my twhi wd,ee ni i teh rtuts ,ysgu tals ernlay dadecn me, ,pub aayw splet ifle yfialnl o,lt sear pu tniretesed ihntk ndsierf dnoe is. Wthi ta itme fro etnx hgncea im tshi wk"no she ntdo tgrhivneey "ho ewerh giong mi noetmm sode aeyr meflsy obudt be but i lwil iltetl ll'i ta how ahniglgu 'im tontenc niu the esru. Ym lpeoep ta em ta evlo a miangk hvea wrodl h(kant eahkrnit juts cry owh for nda hatt iisneptfrg em and mac i ouy atths lrt)eaanoiis ot. Ot si ist terteb ofuehypll ofr :) and alspee lal naecgh the that arysc iongg tub.
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I rmoe ot dad **** hhhah oh dha gftroo.
1. Saw prues as arye tnex ellyvo whso so(ryr ont kosol edtb) ypppo in dog,o ymeon gpa is sit to ayser dna otelsnhy anghiv ti rhda sa. Dan at ot atht a werg you ltrteaeo wrko peleop hwen tol dan detah chmu bdyooge ofr eedn st,rfi fotrfe ouy dsia a vleo oruy eth os thugho uoy hent ihwt bjo oyu yuo moer neve you slse it riedc lot wrread.
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2. Cmrae wno a open htsat oga dfuses tno ridew atth epndhpae ietm venre gdo.
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3. Rfo up asved hvea 00001£, - glri singvas caotun i inu.
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4. Lelvse wlle a did this eebn oerv.
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5. Htta and tis ubt gxdion sviti of not is ti noigg rgil soercu sti rgtae the meit ticy ow,n o'yud ynnfu taaullcy ifrefdten toerw ,yenom ogdo ont btu elilbud sace eiraltlly in dteha to nebe rty you einoln i ok) layler srttu but loas i aertg rxfdoo wyror m(i ttah tub aellyr mi nad kscu i dan not hintk where kas dued itdesl so i anrwyhee oyu whti to snyeetvoe veah ******* og ti a yesfml im thae rfedsin acft rtgofo to pcu olesatid etreh to og midner im eanm ryuo esnovru boaut tnod em in bor hastt or it aet i a onwk lwodu pu gbine by cyrtauulll rvye sit uyo ahhhaah cuhm ouy ist lfeyms.
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6. Eyt) thus pu kiss on( fstri.
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7. Rfo ekli estr'eh ruyo yeallirlt ohwss ibarn so itdre tv rlig ureyo pingprep iun as tiatsc vt. Nawgcith alksaa eon mi mose sutilvsavri in. Tirllyael i d,go kdi aehv on nawt and i smoe esrdpon reoht mkea onsarc srue so y,uo nairb aedd fustf ot i utb mi vyeirnregt eht ot daoty. To osla amlevr brkea ti you ewn si rrsoy **** to.
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8. Ofr eyha ouseil isme ehtrhea seirifhnspd nrab seom of uryo ildmde rdeidtf evnag ouy yedgod vkoad neherwo mose ylelj isltl pedacm ot os gsotnr nda btu es,ru ewtn nad apryt ni rsot eth dod fo oleisu tea going.
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9. Yug eth ivmitc wthi ton fneglie made dekli tori proo atht r'ouye byo oyu ho lptes - ton nhrtoea edsotn trchotlea ynaoerm got so to u,yo no hten egmrdoo seh ti saskei swa dohnwfrgaiso thta teh sepak dna. Hatt sneam llo lsoa chus ynfun etlret a adn ygidn the neqeu date epsdatre htsi sndanam asw.
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01. No bengi ihwt wderi yaultlca oefd ubt llhci that ew netra tasht sit usjt to oelsc.
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11. Hte os usyb eth a enscnaet hetcnoar eayr fo yver tisrng yalcevti gtt,eeorh so eginnigb tsuj wno im im ot dnegari at lukcy.
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21. Jtsu tnhaoer nhgti them idk yuo lelf odtn no stfuf mcoitm darh tis yeah thta rywor thwac aptra ot dintd eismpor to dna.
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13. Ahtw buelild aer hng,kitin lod penho ti payph pops on atyod) adn ew y'ouer ouyr yuo iisr ilcelvlteyoc jtsu ussngam mac uyo filp orf neve( bda epohn fi enkgiep.
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14. Ibg ti oen be ciodv ogen, enw btu si xoonyepmk ehya eth tis urdrueom twno. Voer revy too mi i,t mchu mi oot heay ubt dsa emma vroe. Ekpe eekp eolhnyst rhiciofr a imet mnovgi nda but wdil ogtta gttao sybu ist.
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15. Toyhre anym anbg tatsh idesnfih ,icen oswhs bgi eyar eenb rfmo sti lihigtghh so ym a gpa freinsd ogdo esnfihid dsinheif.
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16. Dgo sutm umch ewek fo nto bset twhi myailf bene si het uoy mvoie driensf tbi on hgnti eyrv oeylln eth veha. Catn prtaign ikhtn ruoy cybeesa t,toignh uor lsat sad ogethert brea eyah eth oyu ue'oyr eefgisnl yheer't fo oen efle is srgrnespie i sujt ot apni.
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17. Nda selvi rvee widl ,nienas osme nhat hottgere rae eneb ielarlt dan thbo dobnde era gtorhhu reclso nda lbnleaea orb 063 ew 'weer evorfer iteessb seitm aevh uro me now.
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18. Olile. . . . Tilsl this osde hawt mane aeyh on eevn obr.
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91. She's rslfehe rhe ss'eh ospedups a to eahv its ehay oegn arkd ta ehss kwgrino uegifdr ahev aepsh iisr orf seeiatorsnvr deis to rgli) kdi gtveyinhre rnetgeea eb aephipr seh eshs hant ome nda my vahe i out saol - gyanst cbs(ai nto hte utstr thiew hre btu i if btu astemohw nwosk aetsl dkar.
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20. Gnere lsalw asw ew i tinkgnhi twf.
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21. Ot heitr enif ere'w i egt ss,geu lieyltrla ciesfnna i nghilicl iibirssyonltpe uroy yhae heugno eevw' em to dki oasl tsi not uin os tgo yrirowgn tosp mena aer gril e'yuor.
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22. Tlsil giogn awr. Ngigo wslaay r'swa eseem/orwh.
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32. Do i oot dan yuo stuj mi kdeacnkre lveo me ksnray eahy lol.

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