A letter from May 3rd, 2022

Dear FutureMe, For the record I still think about ***** most days. I still dread the idea of spending my last days in a hospital bed strapped to a ventilator or an oxygen tank and I'm still pretty determined to do something about it before I get to that stage. I do think about the effect a suicide (or self-euthanasia) would have on Kira - but I think (if I handle it right) in the long term it would be better for her to know I was in control and doing what seemed right to me than to see me suffering and struggling to breathe for god knows how long. That could be self justification - but who can I talk to about it?