A letter from May 1st, 2022

Dear FutureMe, i wish things were better. i am writing this from my bed at an airbnb in ireland. i just read my letter from last year and i’m beginning to realize things probably aren’t going to get better- i’ll just get better at dealing with them. i wish depression wasn’t so fucking annoying. it can be debilitating most days. but today was good. i’ve been waiting to be in ireland for two years and i’m finally here. i wish i could feel this content forever. life is so uncertain. i don’t feel like i have a plan and it is so scary. i feel like i’m floating through life with no direction. i’m still not out to anyone but jake and it is so hard. shoving myself back into the closet is exhausting and i really wish i didn’t have to. i don’t have any expectations for future me (expect disappointment and you won’t be disappointed) but i can’t help but hope you are happier.