Happy Birthday, Loser.

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, You'll be 16 when you get this, but you'll be in school when you respond, so a little past the summer (unless you somehow remember, and respond when you get it: LIKE A LOSER) Junior year! You're gonna be a senior next year, get your **** in gear! (Is that a saying?) Alright, let's cut to the chase. Sum up your summer in ONE WORD. Okay, now write me a boring and lengthy paragraph, you overachiever! How's Grey? Are you guys still together? I really hope so! You like her a lot now, I hope it's the same in the future. If not, are we still on good terms? I need all the juicy details, this is for my pleasure, not your sanity! Right now your biggest things are the variety show. You're about to perform letters in competition, you need to read through that script, loser. You didn't make KCDA, but hopefully, the new director lets you try out again next year. DD in show choir, how is it? Tell me about Allen leading theatre, is it what your mom thought it would be? Are you out to your family yet, if so, how'd they take it? If not, do you have plans or ideas on how to come out? On a scale of 1/10 how happy are you? If it's anything below a 3, why? Is this a longterm thing, or did we just catch you at the wrong time? How many TikTok followers do you have, are you famous yet? No? ****. We try soo hard. What's the biggest fandom you're in? Is it something stupid and obscure (like always)? Did you get a Garfield phone (or anything new Garfield)? Was your sweet 16 as sweet as you wanted it to be? OKAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. P.S. Tell Grey you love her for us<333 *unless you broke up, but it's only a few months, I'm SURE you'll last.

Epilogue

over 1 year later

Dear PastMe,

I am 17 when I remembered this, and on spring break. It's been almost two years since I wrote this. I didn't remember in the school year last...

Yr,ae drniug hte muemsr ro. . . Meaks ettypr nthki wcihh loco i me. .
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I am thgairl eosn,ir taucylal giodn teprty 'im nda a. (ihhcw 'mi pytret fti,staacn tdneasdm a mi' ym tginnoh is agisn)y utb igntry reus. .
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Eerbemmr i orfebe ewset my ubt em eht orjuin rwhet memrereb my umesmr 'odnt teh i ya,re aflmyi 16 zaagnmi. Hatts' eerw llliy uyor lnday rtea'n but amre,nyo of uhge kyoa adn l,fie tpsar tbu. Hte iabsc you edam idcenosi to ned moe dan eth at gineb jinrou ntru tops lluf oyru raey fo. Atysvri of oyur won ceehr ew ptra u,to t'si a ehug flei ietdr adn ,mdae qsda!u het. Damre )dwon we gocelle edma laos ruyo dn(a ntredu. We're ttesa ggoni a sentadi oholsc ot. . . Poeh yuo **** tnod' us. .
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Two 5 ujst and egyr i monsht wef syda goa dna sye, syera a cbleederat. Reh se'hs i uot thiw kacb hgangin fmro ,ratge jtus dna nigod got. Elyovl s'hse. .
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Ecelolg ebudrn oruy thgri gsiebtg is now. Gincom to ohws vhea tsrfi upt on the vertaiy ,pu teh hwos ew btu si. Ersetlt sthi tno eyar. Fi hnta even oury oyu p,rat aetwdn that eismtonhg rmeo ouy elik. Ad,kc (i ehav no eahccn eoplpe mehas odhe reay tyr ml)!oa slat wk!no mkae imh ot it'ndd no tuo. Gtaonduria is oson. Auibleuft ot ggino gecoel,l oyr'ue.
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Yllauatc ocltsse is ndfrsei dd oen fo yruo. Mennlaehpo eh'ss. Lnoy os,cntey ubt btu oot year odt'n isht edma abehrmc hse ton tfa,in. Eth uyo dnwo froef etudnr teh to easm od.
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Tbu idd ryelaad efin hes si sgtipnpe wdn,o laeln. Omm lesoc **** tbu tpryte %100 hatw nto sutedcpe,s. Allen act, colo a and vleo oyu sshe'. Lveo yuo hoed oto. Tshi kwon ugitiqnt taht dwroouend 'dton oyu at i p?tion ddi wonk evne aws. Ggoni eb to ohuthg ist' y,koa. Oryu is dnirfe bset alyrlltei dohe. But hte ehdo titegnsl vletra on odwn to lenal si gongi ,wrdlo si. 'hes i atsy heer tknhi to. Is uteufr sibetgg eh ppsrtouer for ryuo yrou ish ear tetw,eess dna byab eht eifw nad. .
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We aer. . . Ereeyvon tub nwo meonl ouy ont tou, acsll. To efintdyi ened raynnibno sa no we to,u any oemr be nt'od. Uosrnpon hrsh/ee ,od tub si nya alretun will. N-wko- ysa in moiilnl ervne you i htta aresy a luwod.
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Lwodu ttrepy ayhpp asy i rew'e. A 10/7 ubato. Ti's os ospt b,erett ew just to to rfniact bnieg frist niggo need gte. Nemooes sema iamlneig big sithng me ot of how ngtsih eth fo nda vahe ,ouy i aws mdnrie hisw eethr aehad me yuo. 'wree cesueab rwee' lfesccsu,us etptry i oloc ntihk ippfngil i oehp. .
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We kkoitt usoamf tno rae. A eovr k2 iltlet tsju. Odog yrt, ghhtuo. You i ohw nokw atth napittrom to asw. Hughot weer' no it,rwett ttyrep arpopul. . . . R'oyeu nehw eodr!l l'olyu sndrnteaud.
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Nwo otn ayn calyatlu ni grthi fmandos uroy'e. Ssegu iysmpl on i e,b nede to. Oto suby. Ouy hatfierpxey eornmya vloe td'on oot ,grfdeail illst ylieas yuo btu. Ellt it y,uo orf tbu oidcv gste thta yuo teetbr fteldeiyin lspeirad i thta etiynfeldi anc. .
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We idd onlciolcte rou a hpne,o raglfdei tbu otn is bireg!g teg.
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The nda swa sye, ewset 16 npoalhneme. T,oo 81! dan 17 'erhse doog ot swa.
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I tkanh iwll lgr,i tswee oyu. 3<.

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