A letter from Mar 12th, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi this is your 17 year old self. How are you doingg. I honestly dont know what to write... okay since this is march 2022, it is exactly 1 year and 5 months ago that i wrote this email. Oh wow. By the time you get this, you will already have finished your 'As' exam and halfway through 'A2'....thats crazy. I hope you are...happy. like, truly and genuinely happy, like you always wanted to be. Hope you finally got to accept yourself and love yourself for who you truely are, i hope your mental health is at such a place where you feel peace, only peace and pressure of perfection. Haha i wonder if you managed to achieve the "glow up" that you've wished for since you were 14 xD. Thinking of that...so you will turn 19 huh? I wonder how that feels. Did you get your braces off?? How does it look? Does it feel as good as i suppose it feels? Can you finally smile fully without feeling embarrassed? Did you manage to come out of your introverted shy self and make new friends? Gosh im dying to know the answers i wish i could meet you. Did you get that iphone13 that you so badly wanted? OH SHOOT YOUR 'AS' RESULTS ARE ALSO OUT!! DID YOU MANAGE TO GET STRAIGHT A GRADESS?? Did you....manage to get a boyfriend maybe??- AAAA WHAT AM I THINKING. This anticipation will probably **** me🥲 Okay jokes apart...i hope you no longer cry yourself to sleep. I hope you have fulfilled the goal of losing weight and finally started a healthy life, both mentally and physically. I love you. Im proud of you. Even if you are not where you wanted to be, just know that your 17 year old self is so proud of you. Thank you for not giving up. Better days are coming💕

Epilogue

15 days later

Well hello to my 17 year old self. I wish I didn't have to disappoint you like it I'm going to rn, but I have to. You had too much...

Yawansy! ghcdnae a otn me ormf otl spxetetoanic. Esabrc uro bsserraamed we ffo sye tog now anc ew fialynl sey igfneel huttiow elsmi dna.
.
Ndes odgo is wrehe esnw but htat het. In esx,am are nditd' sema eovirtrtned the nay ew trowe oenhp,i ddtin' eth dan we get nd'tid ta uyo tath ton heva idd a etg raedsg trlete ifrsend ,pu glow hrgtstia lfanduh we irfyeoen,dbw ddi oru we rou teg lsitl we time uor tge.
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Svceddeori ubt i wokn eclupo t'si loukoto hsti iefl a hontsm yuo oag on wne wst'ah hatt ?wne. Up teim only elertt nscei it eben hmcu yuo item btu nmelat 17 tath adh in ash eeebivl orsht smhotn em i retwo hcsu uyo who tun'lwod the irngwgo a. M!uhc on okol cieoninrtog e'iv i mya os eht eahgcdn ednoby utb illst eht yes wya ames cahnedg eht wvei eht in peionlssfrpifletehiae,ndi,eo,slpr itdesuo has i isinde. 'o'uy lrenog on xtise ohw tshi, retow. Eahded onw mreo eil,itlnentg colo dan are ew yntcne,eolid,gkird,olnemtalwiannrefthsiooir. .
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No itnhg msot to npedde i maek eht ot tealrn nya ont aphpy saw me mcerail npmoiatrt. Ssanhppie asdttre i ni nngidif me daorun tsinhg lmsla. But veryyaed esorcl tndo' eslef rgonikw ot athw i it nkow teg like, npapihses ltsil 'im ot "ue"einng. Dan tno 'im lsymfe urht i when tis' aer lnyo eecuasb else,p basucee mi' syad tlisl tub rcy ot meodlreewhv rethe. I thru su💕 tle on nrgloe thsreo.
Cryas is a tihs ordlw hyoe,tlns. Nurtyoc eth 12 hs ,somnht 6 ntiiwh uot and nosmht gaautidgnr vmeo of be i'll iinwth. Is hygiervtne emit is remo nda earl ,npssiga erom teniggt as. M'i cdesra. Eernv wloud m?e atth elt spto tbu i. 'im ihtw my ervye sistf ehda tgnosr hhgi hallecneg nad etak to dreya. Noe em ehsnasipp ypahp aoe!nl notshm aevh to si, elnar hintg the ohw gutath nad we rou crtaee lsr,eeuovs to steeh be vhea.
Ngtiwri aowbrni dna ti teh me much ahade atth toms rtmso a adn me who gluy so ofr sjut yuo cyars vheaei,c ietluaufb me, ttl💕eer eednrdim to otg shti hsete'r tahnk ysalwa umch so berefo iv'e fo. 'tian oto rieeth i ttah btu yma daewtn eb wehre yuo ont far be, em ot. Rfo ill' it us do. .
Deiend tberet era dysa 🏻nog🤝cim.

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