A letter from Mar 6th, 2022

dear sam, hi. happy birthday. this is gonna be kind of a vent, but also questions for you to answer do we tell him? that, y'know, we love him i dont think ill ever get over him hes so... him? idk. hes just got me wrapped around his finger. Tonight he came to the banquet, and i shattered. i hadnt seen him in weeks, and i was doing amazing. i thought i was over him and this whole situation, but i guess im not. its not ******* fun. we were talking and he got really close, but he was so comfortable, and i think he could tell i was a bit nervous, but still stayed close. i so badly wanted to kiss him. We were talking while Jan was hugging him and he literally turned his head off of her and maintained complete, sweet eye contact the entire time. i love him so much. i love when he walks, when he plays bball, when he laughs, when he smiles, when he teases me or i tease him and hes embarrassed, but i hate that he doesnt love me he loves jan goddamnit. she "didnt see this coming" but she obviously did. Shes had everyone in the class like her at least a little bit for a little bit of time. I hate those girls who act coy on who likes them, its not cute. idk. grandma has dementia. i went to her house today and i took in every aspect of her home, to the drawings on the wall, and the miniture cups. i dont want to lose her.